Hello Angie and everyone,
Actually it does make me more nervous and sleepless, but my therapist says it's normal and that after a month, my system should get used to it. But I guess the effect can be different on different people. For me, the nervousness still feels better than being depressed and crying, but that's just me.
From my understanding, what it does is kind of like what SSRI medication do. It stops the serotonin your body produces from being re-absorbed by your body. So it kind of makes a happy hormone (serotonin) stay in your brain for longer periods than usual. For the moment, I cry less than usual and I have more energy to do things. I mean, it's easy for others to tell you to go to the gym to feel better, but sometimes you don't even have the energy to go there or even see anyone's face.
So since I'm on St. John's Wort, I think I also feel like my mind is clearer. The part I don't like is that since my mind doesn't automatically go into ''crisis mode'' when I have a negative thought, it makes me realize I now have to face some things I didn't want to, for example, by making decisions I've avoided making because of fear. I guess my crises are a way to protect myself. They take my mind away from real life problems I don't feel competent enough to face, and make me focus on small stuff and blow it out of proportion.
Anyways, St. John's Wort effect is supposedly best starting from after a month of taking it every day. After that period of time, it's supposed to start reducing the intensity of your emotions.
I've only been taking it every day for a week and a half, so it's hard to say if the effect will get better or even last on me. So far so good.
I'm usually in a semi-depressed mood and I cry a lot, mostly because I'm afraid my boyfriend will leave me or criticize me (he does that a lot..I think). But then again, if it wasn't him, I'd find another reason to be depressed about, like it's been the case all my life. I sometimes wonder if I look for negative things/people, attract them or if I justify my depressed feelings by blaming anything that's in front of me, or a combination of the 3. Well in any case, not being able to trust my own judgement is also part of me feeling depressed and frustrated. I feel like I'm running in circles most of the time. I never know if I'm right or wrong, no matter how obvious the situation seems to be to others or to my logical sense. It seems like I spend my life guessing what to do or say. Very exhausting. Makes me want to stay alone a lot to rest and feel safe, but then again, as soon as I'm alone, I'm afraid no one will ever want to be with me and here goes another panick attack.
Anyways, to come back to the medication part. My moods follow my menstrual cycle. The first week, I'm ok, with a little depression around the 3rd day or so. Then I get hyper until my ovulation and reach a peak there. At this time, I usually have anger crises and I tend to think everyone else is wrong and I have to fight them and it's a time where I'll act more promiscuous with strangers. After that peak, my mood falls drastically and I just experience pure paranoia. I'm scared I will get attacked at every street corner, everyone wants to hurt me and I have to run away and hide. So that's about a week before my period and then I get very depressed. I feel everyone hates me and that I suck and everything is my fault.It's usually during that time that I have the most insights about why I feel the way I feel and how it all relates to my childhood. Then, about a day or two before my period, I feel like everything is ok. Then it starts all over again. I guess that's just part of being a woman, but being borderline just multiplies those feelings by 100 and that's the unbearable part. However, my mom has BPD and she's passed menopause now and she still has the same symptoms a before.
So now I'm in the second week of my cycle, so everything is still ok.I think I will see if that new brand of S.John's Wort has a real impact on my worse feelings in about a week or to. I'm taking 3 gelcaps, but I'm allowed to go up to 5 a day, so maybe I'll do that if he situation gets worse. I'm extremely curious to see what will happen. After years of trying to handle BPD without daily medication, I feel plain will power is not enough in my case and chemical meds give me terrible nausea, so that's why I'm trying St. John's Wort. I had tried the St. John's Wort pills made with powder and the tincture before, but it didn't feel as efficient as this kind. It's made with the whole flower in oil. It's supposed to be more concentrated I think. We'll see how that goes. 
