Borderline Personality Support Group

I hope everyones thanksgiving went well here the food was horrible but better than nothing. I found myself dwelling on thinking that next year I wont have the same holidays I have had for the last 11 years I have lost my family per say with the divorce and so now its all on who has the kids for that holiday. Seems I've lost alot more than I though, I miss my family I miss the feeling of having a family. I asked for the divorce because I was tiered of hurting my husband, I could not deal with the guilt of hurting him anymore. I can't seem to ever be happy with anything. I worry that I can't be happy that happiness is a momentary thing for me. I think I focused to much on the idea that you have to be happy... what is happiness really I'm not sure I know. At this point the only feelings I'm sure of are anger,being miserable and being unhappy with myself and shame, not sure I have ever had happiness override any of those. I want to be normal like those people that are happy all the time that are faithful to the people they love and are just happy to be alive at times being alive is the last thing I want to be.

I'm going to say the same thing I say to everyone else that posts something along these lines: There's no such thing as normal, and thinking that someone else is normal and you're not is silly. No one's normal. Especially not the ones that come across as "normal"

I "love' that philosophy you have Annabeth,you have stated it before & i have found alot of comfort in those words,,,"I'm not Debbie w/mental illness,,,,,,,I am Debbie who 'happens' to have some personality disorder traights,,,,Ok fine,,,, At least with bpd usually comes compassion for others,,,which can be seen as a 'very' positive traight. At least I'm not some appearing to be 'normal' individual that cares for nothing but her bank account!!!!! Sincerly, Debbie

Oh look! It's the bright side!

Thank you Annabeth

No problem JT. I'm beginning to feel like I've adopted the role of Positive Fairy. I don't think it's a bad thing It's just worked so well for me I want to pass it on. *hugs*