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Kristismom Posts: 47
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I really fucked up and I can't get over it. Its a long story, though. First let me tell you that I am 30 years old, and have been in therapy since I was 4. I have been blamed for everything in the world that my parents have ever had go wrong in their lives. I have been diagnosed as bipolar from age 15 until recently when I realized that I really have BPD (two years ago). That only happened as a result of another tumultuous era in my life that led me right into my current problem. I'm so dumb because I had a professional (not a therapist)helping me out and I fell in love with him. I manipulated him, and befriended him, and I REALLY hurt him because I became obsessed with him. I may have destroyed his marriage. To be honest, I may have wanted to, but not in this way. I really thought I was cured two years ago, but after reviewing the last 18 months of my life, I noticed I'm more borderline than I ever been, but I can hide it better. And when it all blew up in my face last month, I became the victim, and then I schemed and lied some more. (I nearly was killed covering my tracks, and that still didn't wake me up.) By the way, I'm the mother of a 5 year old. There is a lot more to the story, and I need to get it out, but I don't want to bore anyone. |
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