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05/23/2009 12:34 PM

Hello, Everyone

Kristismom
Kristismom  
Posts: 47
Member

My username is Kristismom (I really have to be anonymous for now) and I have BPD. I am really struggling now as very poor decisions and shear co-dependency have ruined the recovery that I thought I had acheived in the last year and a half. I'm falling apart, I have NO ONE to talk to, and I know you guys understand. Right now I feel hopeless, guilty, shameful and lazy. I want to talk about it, but I need to take my five year old to the park (distraction technique). Please reply to my post. I need people who understand, and i really need hope.
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05/23/2009 12:42 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL



Post edited by: TIFFANYisMENTAL, at: 07/27/2009 09:56 PM
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05/23/2009 01:45 PM
itsmynightmare

welcome kristismom, this is a very supportive and understanding group, i think you will find alot of support and hope here.

we're always here to chat, whenever you are ready.

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05/23/2009 03:00 PM
CherrieAngel
CherrieAngel  
Posts: 1268
Senior Member

Welcome to our little family!!

I hope you have/will read a lot of the conversations that we have had in the group, you will quickly see that there is always someone around to listen and YES we do totally understand how it feels.

If you need anything please let myself or anyone else know and we'll be more than happy to help Smile

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05/23/2009 06:12 PM
Kristismom
Kristismom  
Posts: 47
Member

I really fucked up and I can't get over it. Its a long story, though. First let me tell you that I am 30 years old, and have been in therapy since I was 4. I have been blamed for everything in the world that my parents have ever had go wrong in their lives. I have been diagnosed as bipolar from age 15 until recently when I realized that I really have BPD (two years ago). That only happened as a result of another tumultuous era in my life that led me right into my current problem. I'm so dumb because I had a professional (not a therapist)helping me out and I fell in love with him. I manipulated him, and befriended him, and I REALLY hurt him because I became obsessed with him. I may have destroyed his marriage. To be honest, I may have wanted to, but not in this way. I really thought I was cured two years ago, but after reviewing the last 18 months of my life, I noticed I'm more borderline than I ever been, but I can hide it better. And when it all blew up in my face last month, I became the victim, and then I schemed and lied some more. (I nearly was killed covering my tracks, and that still didn't wake me up.) By the way, I'm the mother of a 5 year old. There is a lot more to the story, and I need to get it out, but I don't want to bore anyone.
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05/23/2009 06:16 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL



Post edited by: TIFFANYisMENTAL, at: 07/27/2009 09:56 PM
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05/23/2009 06:23 PM
Kristismom
Kristismom  
Posts: 47
Member

I'm just not getting better. My life is a mess. I don't know what is my fault and what is not. So much has happened and its really hitting me 2 months after the fact.

How many Borderlines out there have fallen for "the help". I've heard of falling in love with a therapist, how about their attorney? How far should an obsession go before the obsessor knows its "sick"? Someone help me. I'm crying my eyes out.

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05/23/2009 06:27 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL



Post edited by: TIFFANYisMENTAL, at: 07/27/2009 09:57 PM
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05/23/2009 06:27 PM
itsmynightmare

we're here for you kristismom
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05/23/2009 06:33 PM
itsmynightmare

yeah ive done the same thing too, my doctor and a nurse that was helping me. i think its a characteristic in BPD, they say its really important to have someone aware of these traits. but man are they hard to come by.
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