Borderline Personality Support Group

Porch, I am so glad you and your t are working so well together .

Yellowroze, I am so sorry about your kitty . I wish I could see a picture of your new kitten.

Zablop, Clearly you need to reach out to a hotline or go to an ER. I hope you will do that.

Good: Slept well. Another sunny day here. Talked to my dad a bit on the phone yesterday. Got a bit of exercise yesterday after way too long of lethargy.

Bad: Ditto about my t being gone. Been alone WAY too much lately. Afraid to meet dbt therapist next week; I met her before and didn't get a good vibe, but she is my only chance of doing dbt at this point.

Zablop, I hope one of the moderators will clarify just what is and isn't allowed re talk about suicide. I think there is a difference between talking about thoughts and telling readers you have/are taking measures to end your life. Your posts made me think you consciously or not wanted someone to intervene. What did you expect or want when telling us you had OD'd? That is a serious question, not a rhetorical or sarcastic one.

Also, your location is posted in your signature.

Porch, I am so sorry about your recurrent nightmares .

Good: Nice weather this morning. Finally got a response re my concern that I would be "referred" on from my current place of therapy. Set up ride for DBT interview (it's a step).

Bad: It is supposed to get hot which I don't like. Missing my t . Scared and reluctant to go to DBT interview next week.

Post edited by: petirrojo, at: 07/06/2012 12:25 PM

Petirrojo, does this mean they've confirmed that you won't be referred? I hope so!!! Good luck with your dbt interview!! I hope it goes well.

Good: worked a bit extra today, and was able to visit my brother, sister and family, and see my nieces and nephew. I made plans for the weekend that i can comfortably handle, and will be able to see all of my supports next week.

Bad: still having bad dreams, have been very tired lately, worried about sleeping tonight. Anxiety at bedtime does not help.

Porch, Yes, at least that's what I have been told. I no longer always trust what others say as I have been screwed in the past, but I hope what they say remains true. Awesome job in preparing for the weekend .

Good: Mood is ok so far this morning. Think I am going to a thrift store this morning which I usually enjoy. Am reading/have read a couple good books lately. Haven't tried reaching my t...

Bad: Had a medical issue last night so may be tired today. I hate being poor (by American standards that is; I am very aware of how much I actually do have in comparison to some). I still don't forgive or haven't gotten over some things my brother said to me a couple months ago. He thinks I am just not used to anger as my family did not express it, but I think there is anger and then there is harsh, unbridled and hurtful rage.

He has apologized for his anger "making things more difficult" but not for his actual words.

Also, I tried to get a picture for this website and seem to have failed. Yes, I am technospastic .

Take care, everyone.

gonna try to get a pic of the new kitten

good: went to see a movie and had chinese with one of my friends yesterday.. i've known her for 30+ years

bad: my friend is extremely insecure and acts like she can't do anything for herself and it makes me mad

OK, it might look from recent posts like I am psychotic and am responding to a fictitious person, but in fact I think some things have gotten deleted...?

YR, Would love to see the pic . I love the name, too! See anything good at the movies?

Good: got a bit of exercise this morning. Picked up scripts. Expecting two dvd's in the mail to keep me occupied indoors as the heat sets in.

Electricity! AC! Clean water! Clean clothes!

Bad: I realize that there are a lot of very unpleasant things I would rather do than spend a weekend with my mom (as she suggested). I feel so guilty, but also know my siblings feel the same...it's a very mixed bag.

I bought some popsicles (on sale- yay) but then saw the bus go by so returned them rather than risking them melting . Feeling rather grumpy. (I think I got too hungry.) I really want and need to talk with my therapist but would feel awful if I disturbed her on her vacation. I don't even know if she takes calls though I gather she did last time. OK, that's enough bad.

Good: Have been getting out each morning/early afternoon with the sunny dry weather. No self-harm. Have asked for help a couple times in my t's absence.

Bad: Felt horrible reading this book that states seeing a client more than once per week can be "regressive." Very lonely and despairing. Feeling guilty re my mom for setting boundaries about talking to/seeing her.

Good: have my diagnoses, BPD, Bipolar, Depression.

Bad: found out it will be 6 months to a year before I see the neurologist.

Why do I feel so bad, when I know others have worse.

Light, I am glad you now know what you are facing. I am so sorry it is so much. Is the delay in seeing a specialist typical where you live? How frustrating!

Good: I got out even though I am not in a good way emotionally. I have one foot/leg which is a whole lot better than none for things like transfering, reaching dishes, and general safety out in the world.

I laughed once today.

Bad: Really scared for some reason at the moment. Scared of the world and probably more, myself. Not a fun way to be.

Light, I'm glad you've got the diagnoses, now you can start to work with things. That is hard to wait that long to see a neurologist! I know how you feel about feeling bad while others have it worse. It still doesn't minimize your pain, however.

Petirrojo, Good for you for making yourself get out and about! And I'm happy you're treating yourself well in your t's absence!

Good: had a great day yesterday and even made it to the gym. Made it to work for the full 4.5 hours of my goal for this week, even though I started to crash 1/2 hour before I was off.

Bad: Feeling horrible. Soo tired, but everytime I sleep, I have nightmares. Either people are yelling at me, last night I was emotionally abused by my sister and a group of friends from high school all at me at the same time. Or else, they're dreams where I'm very stressed. I talked to the pharmasist who thinks it's the zopiclone that is causing it. Right now I just want to stop taking all my meds cold turkey, except for b.control and headache meds. I feel like nothing's working anyway. I called my nurse practitioner at home and left a message. I'm hoping she'll get back to me tonight, and not be mad that I called her at home. She gave me the number one weekend, but it was just for that weekend. I'm worried my dr will be mad at me for wanting to change med doses fast, and that my np will be mad I called her at home. I can't stand when I think people are mad at me....