Borderline Personality Support Group

Does anyone else sometimes feel like they're stuck in a dryer, going up and down, up and down, around and around?

My mood has been like this since two weeks ago. I know I'm just very stressed and being hospitalized didn't help, but I hate that feeling of high, low, high, low. I think I've always been like that since 8 years old, but am now just learning the pattern, and it seems faster now.

My family doesn't think I can follow through with anything, which hurts because before this last depression that landed me in the hospital, I was really good at following through with things. I wasn't a quitter.

Just wondering if I'm all alone with this, or if it's a borderline thing...

Yes I do and have done for years (like you since a young girl, now 43), it can become quite a ride at times and I understand your frustration. I have only just been diagnosed and always thought I had Bipolar. I am glad I don't as I hate being all medicated up, I do take a med (Depakote 600mg) I started 8 weeks ago and am starting (I think) to have some stability, enough to be able to look at what is happening more clearly, It can be so hard to see clearly when everything is going hay wire in your mind.

Do they have a plan, for you diagnoses, DBT is a great therapy and the recommended for BPD, and what are they doing to help you become stable?

We are all here for you, post, ask questions or just let us know how you are going...

Wishing You, Light, Love & Laughter...

Light

Post edited by: Light68, at: 06/06/2012 05:05 PM

Sorry just read one of your other posts and you said you were on an anti-anxiety med, just wondering which one?

Post edited by: Light68, at: 06/06/2012 05:09 PM

not exactly sure about plans. DBT for sure, and a psych, but I don't see him until August. I'm having a really rough time with the energy waves right now. They're the worst they've ever been. One minute my family thinks I'm fine and back to normal, the next they have to deal with a self-destructive-thinking, weepy girl who can't take any sort of stress without completely breaking down. They don't know what to think. My mom is not good with figuring out what annoys her, so she was lecturing and yelling at me all day (not angry, but frustrated and voice raised) about how I need to do more, put myself out there, get out of my comfort zone.

My meds are making it hard to focus my eyes in the morning, and she thought I was just too scared to go to work. I'm "technically" starting a new job, but I know all the guys, the job, everything already, it's just a refresher, and I'm working for my dad. Not stressful. Side effects from meds where I can't see, very stressful.

Anyways, I won't write anymore, I think I'm too down. I'll try calling one of the warm lines to talk to someone in person.

Porch I am sorry you are feeling down again. I certainly understand the constant energy waves of up and down. Sometimes it gets so bad for me that I can't even make a simple decision about whether I want to talk or text someone.

I have always struggled really bad with mood dependent behavior which means that it is hard for me to be consistent with anything! This is especially true when it comes to my social life! It makes it extremely difficult to develop and keep lasting friends!

Thank you for sharing with us and keep posting! We care!

Well, I was up for the first part of the day, down for the rest. Another load in the dryer? I wish I could get better just by wishing it, or analyzing it. I'm scared to learn about DBT. I'm afraid of how much work it will be, and I'm still so depressed and low energy most of the time.

I can understand while you would be scared to learn about DBT if you are depressed and low energy all the time. Maybe the first step is to relieve some of your depression so you have some energy to learn DBT. When is your next doctor appointment?

I see my nurse practitioner today. I'm hoping she can help me out. I'm hoping she can also see if I can get in to see my new pdoc earlier than august as well.