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03/10/2012 11:51 PM

Looking for a place I can belong

Yzass
 
Posts: 3
New Member

Find it very difficult around people. Friends don't understand, don't want to understand, I taught them not to understand but to leave me alone. Trust maybe two people in my whole life. Secrets are not the same as privacy but few boundaries. Anyone out there?
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03/11/2012 12:25 AM
peaches261
peaches261  
Posts: 3387
Group Leader

I agree that it is very hard for people to understand. I have been able to improve my relationships with people better as I got further into treatments. DBT has been the one that works best. It's okay that you don't want to tell people, but if they know you have issues even without going into specific detail about what those issues are; they may be more understanding when you are having problems. On the other hand, some people just don't want to deal with anything that is difficult or different, but in my opinion that's their issue and not yours.

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03/11/2012 07:13 AM
yellowroze
yellowroze  
Posts: 569
Senior Member

i can definitely understand Yzass. i've pushed a lot of people away. only the stubborn ones still exist and i'm thankful they are here. it takes a very strong person to be able to stick around someone with bpd. we can have horrible swings of anger and depression... we can tell people we don't want them around (because we're afraid that they will leave us if we don't leave them first)... we can lie and cheat.. i'm not sure i would want to be friends with someone like me.

BUT that would be just because i wouldn't understand WHY they would do that. i've had two really really good friends for over 30 years now. a wonderful boyfriend for almost 9. they are my biggest supporters. they wouldn't let me push them away, tho it came close with my boyfriend.

i've been doing a lot better since i've started my dbt therapy. i have better coping skills. i understand why i do the things i do and can learn to control it. and of course being able to come to a place like this where i know people understand me, really helps.

welcome to the group! i'm glad you're here!!

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