Borderline Personality Support Group

I haven't been on here for a while, I'd been busy with classes plus my net wasn't working in the middle. Anyways, I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. Something, I needed to do a long time ago but I couldn't realize it. I was just messing up his life and his mind because of my messed up ness. And my guilt was increasing that I was just trying to be with for the sake of not breaking up but not because I still had feelings for him. i love him so much, I care about him but I was like totally messing up both our lives. I don't know wat to say. I have to be strong. I got friends to help me out and I'm going to try to get thru it with their support. He'll need a few months of isolation from me to deal with the breakup since we live next door to each other and I have to avoid till then. Probably after that we can be friends but I have to stay strong not to drag him into crap again. Other than that everything is cool here. Classes are going well and I'm happy and energetic. I'm able to stay on things. Paranoia, distress, and scary thoughts pop up here and there and I just try to nip them in the bud. I also have this old friend I reunited with who I get to spend alot of time with because of the same classes who helps me out alot and cheers me up when I'm down. Other than that, nothing huge.

I'm glad to hear you're doing well with classes, and are taking some time to yourself. It sounds like you are being way too hard on yourself when it comes to your ex boyfriend though. He chose to stay with you, and if his life was messed up in any way it was because he allowed it to be. We decide how we feel about things and handle them, others don't.

it's good that you understand some of your weaknesses. however i agree with peaches, he CHOSE to stay with you. i've had to learn that myself. i've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. i've tried multiple times to break up with him because of the same reasons you broke up with your boyfriend. he told me that i was taking the choice away from him and it wasn't right.

but what's done is done and yes, it's great that you have friends that can help you through it. so many times these days we hear about people don't really have close friends to count on. that makes it so much more difficult.

i don't remember, have you tried to do dbt? or is it difficult with your schedule? maybe trying a DBT workbook? before i was able to get into a group therapy i was working out of a dbt workbook and it helped a lot.

Ya i'm planning on getting a DBT workbook but i won't be possible till may. And yes DBT is helping alot. Ya, i'm glad that you guys brought up the point that he chose to stay with me because wat he finally had to say was that i always decided things with us and that he never had a chance to make any decisions. But I don't think that's true, I think he was the one that had this opinion of staying with his first and I always felt very constricted around him because I always had to be something different from wat I am around him and I just felt guilty all the time. Thanks for the different viewpoint. I guess I just need to move on in a healthy way. People have relationships and they break, it's normal and I believe that something better is waiting in the future for me. So yep, today was a little weird. I just tried to keep my mind calm and watched tv shows. I went to lib and couldn't really study so I actually a notebook and copied some pages from a book. better than nothing. Tomorrow's monday and things will be in full swing, maybe i'll be okay then i'm hoping.

you're doing good. it's always a good thing to keep your mind occupied, even if it is just copying things from a book. that's a great coping skill!

Ya, it's like my 3rd break from a serious relationship plus I'm a lot more mature now. Anyways, I'm ready to go thru the ups and downs to do the right thing. I ordered dinner now. I'm waiting for it to arrive. Yep, Thanks yellowroze

Of course you have good things waiting for you, you're beautiful, a good person, and going to be a doctor!

Thank you so much peaches!!! Hugs to you too