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07/08/2011 08:51 AM

When People Don't Return Phone Calls

mem6684

I have noticed that I get really frantic when people do not return my phone calls. I feel worried that they are ignoring me, and I get angry. Then I might call again, which probably doesn't help. I am wondering if others feel this way, if this is part of bpd?

For me, I think it ties into feeling invisible. As a child, my parents did not really "see" me, or the real me, anyway. I dunno.

Post edited by: petirrojo, at: 07/08/2011 08:52 AM

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07/08/2011 09:19 AM
JAYEPAWS
JAYEPAWS  
Posts: 852
Member

yes I do the same. & with Text too if my boyfriend doesn't text back I think he is ignoring me or has someone else. when his sister texts he's right there all the time doing it.

one time I was asking if my sister was there she was busy but never returned my call & I was upset I yelled at her pretty good. I always call & nobody calls me so it makes me feel ignored or like you said invisible.

its because I will rely stuff to my mom & she will tell my sister or if my brothers call mom will rely it to me. but I know when my mom dies they will start calling me. it's sad & I might be the mad because they will do it when she's not there. when that happens.

it's not that they are ignoring you maybe there are busy I try to keep that in my mind but it's hard for me not go back to thinking that. Jaye

Wink


07/08/2011 09:58 AM
MizzMuffin
MizzMuffinPosts: 5
New Member

I am the exact same way!!

07/08/2011 10:24 AM
peaches261
peaches261  
Posts: 3387
Group Leader

It's part of the abandonment issues. I just try to remind myself that they may be working, busy, or just dont want to be social at the moment and I should respect that.

07/08/2011 01:29 PM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

Peaches is so smart! It is a part of abandonment issues! I don't usually call people. I have a little bit of social anxiety and so I hardly ever call anyone. I usually text them and depending on my mood, I get irate or antsy if they don't quickly return my text. Also, I have problems answering the phone. Even with caller ID, I usually dont' answer my phone if you haven't let me know a head of time that you would be calling.

07/08/2011 08:27 PM
hollyna
hollyna  
Posts: 31
Member

I am the same way. It makes me feel clingy when I call until the person answers. I try to remember that the other person may be busy.

07/09/2011 05:07 AM
mem6684

Well, I guess I am glad I am not the only one. It does have to do with abandonment, but also powerlessness, voicelessness, if that is a word ;/

I called my pcp office starting Tuesday re getting a medication. My last message yesterday stated that I really needed to talk to (the assistant) that day. She did not call back Sad


07/09/2011 09:12 AM
peaches261
peaches261  
Posts: 3387
Group Leader

I have found that especially with businesses sometimes it's easy to get caught in the shuffle of daily things. Some get hundreds of messages a day and can miss one, or think they have returned it, but haven't. The person you are trying to reach could have been out sick or something; there are so many reasons it may not have been returned. I would call back and say "I'm sorry to call again, but this is _____. I left a msg on Tuesday and I still really need to speak to you, so if you could call me back when you get a chance I would really appreciate it.", then leave your number and give it time. I know it's hard when you really need help, but they are also dealing with many others so keep that in mind.


07/09/2011 11:58 AM
mem6684

Thanks for those words of wisdom, ((Peaches)). My "wise mind" knows that, but sometimes my emotional side takes over, and it is all about me, or should be ;P I gotta laugh at myself sometimes.

07/13/2011 05:37 AM
mem6684

The frustration (dare I say anger?) continues Angry .

After leaving three messages last week, I finally reached my pcp assistant Tuesday who acted like she never got the messages, which I do not believe. She filled the script.

Now another story. I was supposed to get another med (insulin) refilled Tuesday. They have been doling it out to me. STILL haven't heard back. Talked to the pharmacist Tues. and Wed. who was trying to get the ok to refill..

Also, I need to talk to the asst. about feeling completely ignored and she does not return the call.

What would a non-bpd person do? My emotions are only getting more intense the more I feel ignored Sad .

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