Borderline Personality Support Group

Happens to me ALLLLLL the time

& I might add as a coping mechanism to APPEAR NORMAL i am mostly quite!!!!!

But WHEN THINGS DO COME UP & I BEHAVE Inappropriately,

I get Why are you mad. Why did you eat all the cookies. Why are you so rude????????????????????????????????????

Duh????????????????/

Do you think the answer might be because

>>>>>I HAVE A DIAGNOSED MENTAL DISORDER<<<<

& even w/ meds I SOMETIMES ACT OUT

Well group anyone else experience this,

your fam your bf etc CLEARLY knows you have "ISSUES" that you can't control, but THEY seem totally baffled when your actions are innappropriate?

Deb

EDIT TITLE<<<<< should read

When We CLEARY have a mental diagnosis

Post edited by: Thomps, at: 12/12/2010 12:16 PM

Hi Deb, I'm sorry you get treated that way. You are actually such a sweetie and I'd hope the people near you can see that!

I don't know what the answer is. I guess you could remind them that you have diagnosed disorders, but that could bring a comeback of how you're still responsible for your actions or some other b.s. from people who are supposedly "normal" and don't understand.

Yes, I have family/relatives who think my actions are strange. I'm not obedient to them. I don't follow their advice. I don't think making fun of me is funny anymore and I no longer pretend it is. I don't cower down and lose myself just to be the way they want me to be, vote the way they want me to vote, think the way they want me to think, etc. What happened was that I realized that a couple of them are actually sicker then I am and that's what helped me move on.

All I can definitely say is ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))).

Hey Debbie (((HUGS))) for you yes I agree with you because my family is mad because I swear especially the f word they know I have a mental illness & they still bring up the past & I'm the worst human being there is.

My mom says I'm jealous of my sister it's not that but my problems are swept under the rug than hers & my brothers. I know it's wrong what I do but at the time it seems right. I just wish they could understand that I do have a mental illness why can't anyone help me when I'm in a frenzy.

I just want help support from my family it's the same in my family you know Jaye

Thank you both for your comments,

>It's NOT like I'm NOT AWARE I act up,

It is THAT I CAN"T HELP IT,,,,anger for instance, i have a shorter fuse than people NOT AFFLICTED.

So on one hand>the intellectual hand 'they acknowledge' I have Mental-illness, I'm on SSI permanently disabled because of it,

So they know this, YET >>>I GUESSS<<<<< they are under the assumption i can somehow CONTROL my angry outbursts for instance.

IF I COULD DO THAT I"D BE ABLE TO HOLD A JOB!!!!!

I MEAN I >>>>TRY<<<< like hell to not get upset(crying), I >>>try<<<like hell to not get angry /////BUT BECAUSE I HAVE A mental-illness I CAN"NOT always behave APPROPRIATLY,

Like, Jaye you were saying you use the F. word/ i cuss like a sailor when I'm under pressure,,,to let off steam so as NOT to explode into anger.

ANYWAY thanks for both your comments/helped alot.

I WILL STILL >>>NEVER<<<UNDERSTAND how people close to me KNOW I HAVE mental-issues,yet THEY EXPECT ME TO BEHAVE IN A NORMAL WAY ALL THE TIME<<<go FIGURE.

Deb

typos...

Post edited by: Thomps, at: 12/13/2010 06:42 AM

Debbie with what you are saying we are alike I know I'm acting up but I need to get it off my chest then family hangs up on me or Chris stops listening & I have to go home because he needs time to recoup.

He is everything to me & I need to change my attitude but it's hard to do. I think being mentally ill we accept each other when you're not it's a different story. they try to ignore it until it's too much than they try to find a reasonable answer & there is any answer to explain it that's for my family.

I've had to let it go since I could remember & i don't want to.

I just want them to understand that I do have a mental illness but it's to much to handle i think that's right.

you're good Debbie I will always back you up. Jaye

Maybe we just have to remember that family members (and everyone else) who are "normals" just aren't as superior as we think they are. Maybe "superior" wasn't the word I was looking for. Flawless? People who have it all together and are compassionate, full of empathy, and truly caring?

They're human with all the bad qualities that humans have. They just aren't always caring and understanding and loving. If they would be, they'd be more understanding toward us.

Just adding that they'd be less judgmental and more accepting of our flaws, too!

Post edited by: Angela2, at: 12/13/2010 02:32 PM

I guess what I'm saying is that "you would think people close to me would use some 'tact' in their approach. THEY ALREADY KNOW i have difficulty controlling my emotions and my anger, yet they EsCALTE the system to the BREAKING point. My mother is especially good at doing that, THEN>THEN I'm supposed to feel guilty for loosing my temper.

And the cookie episode was me& my bf, YES sound VERY trivial, but we've only been a couple about 3mos, i have tryed to explain (WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A NUT) that i have this bi-polar,bpd THING going on....And one thing I do ;WRONG:,bpd related or not I don't know, but if someone leaves sweets(cookies on counter,,,,IN WILL GeT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT as i do many times a night, so 1 here,1 there till i;ve eaten like a doz.

NOW MYSELF I DO_NOT BUY SWEETS or CHIPS because I know how I am

ANYWHO,,,,,,,he made some choc, chip, left-em-out EVEN THOUGH I HAVE SAID TIME&TIME AGAIN "i can't be trusted in this area, THEN HE GOT MAD

i SAID IDK if I can live with someone who just brushs my mental-illness under the rug

IT APPERS to me "society,in general does this,

You say you have bipolar,

they say OOOOOh K

Then they seem confused THAT THERE ARE SYMPTOMS THAT GO ALONG WITH IT!!!!!

Just makes me want to iso;ate.

i DEAL the best w/ my mother I just leave.

With my bf I just be quite let it blow over.

I was reading a diary post on here,

AND YES PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK BIPOLAR simply means YOU are a RAVING lunitic OR something

How abouta public service annoncement,

"we are just people with PROBLEMS<<<<<tHAT WE CAN"T HELP.>just sayin' lol

Deb

I have actually heard a woman in a doctors office of a mental facility when her daughter asked what bipolar was, tell her "its an excuse people use to act bad".

I've heard people talking about mental illness in that manner many times, it just shocked me because either that woman or her daughter were there to see a psychiatrist.

My mom used to use that as an excuse every time we got into an argument, except it came out "youre crazy just like your father". Either way, my family was always doubtful, other than my mom and sister who "knew it". The rest of my family was just happy to assume thats the way I was and would always be, the loud, emotional, couldnt keep a job or boyfriend, black sheep with all the tattoos. Things got a bit better when I started with the new doctor and got regulated meds, then they got 10x better when I got with my therapist who helped me get things I had never had before, like love for myself and hope for a future.

My family other than my sister really weren't much help. I guess I would much rather have them surprised when I act out, than just assume thats who I am and will always be.

my family doesn't like the way I act they want me to stop & change & they don't don't know what my disorder is only mom & my sister knows my two brothers are in the dark. I might tell my one brother that is still here in Florida.

mom brings up from the past like when my dad died because I acted out towards my sister she wanted the ticket for my mom we had to fly to CT & then back & wanted to hold on to it & she was treating me like a kid that I would lose it.

so I told her where to go. nobody tries to understand what I'm going through I feel like my family judges mes & if I told Chris's family they would too.

I know the outside world thinks that it's an excuse for us the people with mental illness to act out to do things that are bad.

it isn't that we do have it. my sister's son has ADHD & the doctor told my sister that he might grow out of it I said I don't think so. my friend has adult ADD so she won't grow out of that.

that's so stupid to get someone's hope up when you know in the back of your mind that he will have it forever. Jaye

I have adult ADHD and I sure didn't out grow it! It would of been nice if I did! LOL!