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10/11/2010 03:47 PM

abandonment issues

jennys
jennys  
Posts: 143
Member

My fear of abandonment is exerting itself full force today. My fiance is in a funk, in my head he must be pissed at me....and not saying anything, in my paranoid thoughts until we see our couples counselor Wednesday.

To make matters worse, I tried explaining this to him and he got up and walked out of the room w/out saying a word.

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10/11/2010 06:24 PM
Angela2
Angela2  
Posts: 2513
VIP Member

((((((((HUGS)))))))))) It's almost strange that so often we all seem to be going through the same type of issues at a time. It's like the tilt of the earth or the position of the moon is bringing us all bad luck. Right now relationships seems to be the difficult thing.

Abandonment issues can be tough, but remember that you are his fiance so he obviously loves you and plans on marrying you. Hopefully he'll get a good night of sleep and he'll be more attentive and loving tomorrow.


10/11/2010 08:12 PM
ThatOneGirl
 
Posts: 158
Member

I am having the same issues right now with my best friend. <3 I am so sorry you are going through this. Sad

10/12/2010 06:47 PM
venusenvynyc
venusenvynyc  
Posts: 1352
Senior Member

((((Hugs)))) He may just be too upset to act reasonably right now, and might have been giving himself a time out. It might be good to address this with him, but wait until he's feeling better so that he's in a place where he can deal with it. I'm sure he loves you.

10/12/2010 08:51 PM
JAYEPAWS
JAYEPAWS  
Posts: 852
Member

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm going through this with my family not able to help when I need a ride. it's really hard ((((HUGS))))

JayeWink better days are coming

as my dad put it.


10/13/2010 02:04 AM
cclowe12345
cclowe12345  
Posts: 456
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I hate abandonment! That is my worst issue, and often pushes me to a rage. I hate being ignored and not know what he is thinking. I always think with my paranoid thougths,

Hes planning to leave me, He is seeing someone else, He is thinking about how much of a loser I am....these thoughts can make me go crazy. It will get better, God some days are so good....and some days I feel like I am on the edge of insanity!!


10/13/2010 04:17 PM
daisymay12374
 
Posts: 14
Member

I deal with the same issues... they drive me nutz!!! In my mind he is having an affair.. I have to tell myself to knock it off, yet it still lingers.. Positive self talk if you can.. good luck and many hugs your way

10/14/2010 01:27 PM
chloeclark
chloeclark  
Posts: 147
Member

my whole life of relationships, I leave before they can I'm 45 and my longest close relationship has been 8 months. Hope things get better soon for everyone

10/14/2010 08:36 PM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

I am finding as I get older that I am scared of close relationships. I keep people at a distance so I will not be hurt if they leave. It has been 3 years since I have been in a serious relationship.

10/15/2010 01:13 AM
cclowe12345
cclowe12345  
Posts: 456
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I can understand that, when I feel really down I visualize myself telling him, that marriage is just not for me. I have a constant lingering feeling that he is not faithful, I always have and for no reason other then I expect that men do that, and every media I see, men are always cheating, my ex-husband cheated, so i dont know if its just such a severe insecurity, but it is so horrible to feel. I do try the positive self talk, and will redirect my thoughts,,,but I am like good God, how long will this last, we have been married 5 years!
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