Borderline Personality Support Group

I found out two weeks ago that my counselor is closing her practice and this has just caused me to become and emotional wreck. I literally thought I was going crazy. One minute I would be fine the next minute I would be crying my eyes out and that pisses me off because I hate to cry. This has increased my depression and I feel like a complete mess. I self Injure and have been fighting the urge to do that and am barely hanging on there. I have friends who don't have BPD that just don't understand that with being a abused and with BPD this has really triggered me and my emotions are more than what the average person experiences. Is there anything I can do to help prevent from having these break downs, I'm just scared that I'm going to have one at work and I can't afford that. Please any advice would be helpful, like I said I'm just a freaking wreck right now.

Hey Stormy. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Being BPD and involuntarily losing a therapist is really difficult. I think it triggers abandonment issues. So for that aspect of the situation you're dealing with, just keep in mind that while it's unfortunate and a pain for you; it's just something that happens, and it's an opportunity for you to perhaps find a therapist that will be of even more help to you.

If you feel yourself starting to break down at work, try to take a break for a moment, even if it's just to the restroom. If not even that is possible, just sit still for a moment. Wherever you end up taking your moment, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and repeat some affirmations in your head. Like, "I will get through this day... I am okay, I just need to calm down and breathe... I am a strong person and I will get through this."

If someone should happen to see you and ask you what you're doing or if you're okay, just tell them you're not feeling well. Nausea or a headache, for example.

As for self-injuring, it's really good that you've been resisting the urge. That shows how strong you are. Remind yourself of that. The thing about affirmations is they're true. Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of some truths.

*hugs* You'll get through this.

Elle

I'm going through a similar situation right now, Stormy. I'm moving 500 miles away for school, so of course the therapist I've seen off and on since I was 18 can't move with me! It's scary, because she's been there through so much change in my life, and has really helped me grow as a person. I'm not ready for her not to be there.

One thing that has helped me a lot is doing the work to set myself up with a new therapist. I asked my current therapist for advice on what questions to ask to figure out if the new one is a good match or not. We met up, and it seems to be a good match. I gave her permission to talk to my old therapist, so I know she'll have the information she needs about my history. Having a new therapist set up is making me a lot less upset about leaving the old one.

Just remember, this therapist isn't rejecting YOU. She's closing her practice for reasons that have nothing to do with you. It doesn't mean she doesn't care, and I imagine if you ask, she would be happy to help you figure out where to go from here. Can you see about getting her help to find a new therapist? She may even have colleagues to whom she can refer you.

Elle had some great advice on dealing with moments of crisis. I don't smoke, but if I'm upset at work I take a "smoke break" to be by myself and calm myself down. You will get through this! *Hugs*

A "smoke break" is something I can identify with and I do smoke and need to take one of them frequently some days. (haha)

Elle does have some very good suggestions. If we can just get our mind calmed down and remember to put positive thoughts in it, we can generally get through the day. I do understand that it's rough some days because it is for me, too.

Like Venus said, it's possible that your current therapist could suggest a colleague to you. Good luck in finding your new therapist.

Going along with Elle's suggestion. Breathe in through your nose to the count of 5 and blow out threw your mouth to the count of 7. I say my positive affirmations while I am blowing out through my mouth. This will help you to calm down as well.

You can also practice using cheerleading statements and radical acceptence.

Saying something like " This is the way it has to be" or " This is something I can accept" may help as well.

Venus had some good suggestions about finding a new therapist.

I wish you the best and hang in there!

Keep posting!

Thaks everyone. Janis my counselor actually has refered me to someone and I did ask her to please contact her prior to me going. Two of my biggest fears is my trust issues and sometimes I'm so stressed out that I just feel like I can't go on and I'm afraid that if I express that with this new counselor she is going to baker act me and I don't want to end up in that place again. This Tuesday is my closure session with Janis and I see the new counselor the following week. I've been fighting so hard not burn and found myself starting the other night but stopped before I could do much damage and I don't want to fall back into those old habits because I worked so hard to get out of them. Thanks again

You're so welcome, Stormy. We're here for you whenever you need us. Keep posting and venting as necessary. That's what we're all here for!

*hugs*

Elle