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01/10/2010 06:31 AM

To tell or not to tell...

MissGreen
 
Posts: 577
Member

Since I'm in the middle of a custody battle where my ex is trying to prove I'm "crazy" I'm afraid to be honest with my therapist and psychiatrist because they can be called to testify in court. My psychiatrist bumped up my effexor last week to try to help with anxiety and I think it may be contributing to my suicidal thoughts. I found more pictures my ex posted on the "family" website of him, his girlfriend, and my kids playing house. I got so upset I cut myself for the first time in a long time. Pretty bad. Last night I was thinking if I had a gun I'd shoot myself. But I'm fairly certain I wouldnt DO anything serious to myself.. however I'm afraid to say anything. I thought maybe I could just tell my psychiatrist I'm having suicidal thoughts and not expound on them, but it's a slippery slope and the meds are supposed to HELP. I dont know what to do.
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01/10/2010 07:43 AM
Angela2
Angela2  
Posts: 2513
VIP Member

MissGreen, are you sure that they can call your psychiatrist to testify? I thought things said were supposed to be confidential, but I'm just asking cause I don't know.

But yes, if the meds are causing you to have thoughts like that, you're right in telling your Dr. about it. You don't have to pour your heart out about specifics, but you should mention it just for your own safety.


01/10/2010 10:37 AM
venusenvynyc
venusenvynyc  
Posts: 1352
Senior Member

It sounds to me that you need to have a conversation with your psychiatrist about these court proceedings. I do not think that your psychiatrist can be compelled to testify; at most they can order you examined by one of their own doctors. You need to be able to get help for your issues, and if these court proceedings are making that difficult, you need to figure out a way to fix that. You should bring up your concerns with your psychiatrist and find out

1) whether they can be compelled to testify and 2) if called upon to do so, how much and what type of information would they share?

You have legal protections for your privacy! Talk to your lawyer and your doctor to find out what your situation is. I understand how you would be nervous about bringing your concerns about your suicidality to your therapist when you're trying to get custody of your children, but it's important for you to be able to take care of yourself. *hugs*


01/10/2010 05:10 PM
Annabeth
Annabeth  
Posts: 1558
Senior Member

Your main concern from your other post was keeping your children. You can't do that without taking care of yourself first. Talk to your therapist, and stop looking at your ex's site. It's obviously not helping you, and you're only going to bring yourself down more if you keep checking it.

01/10/2010 05:33 PM
MissGreen
 
Posts: 577
Member

You're right. Its pathetic to look at the site. Pics of my kids.. wedding pics.. all that on there. Its so tempting to see what they're doing with my kids. And I talked to my psychologist and psychiatrist and yes, I have confidentiality IF the court decides not to subpoena them. If a judge wants them to testify to my mental state, they are compelled to testify honestly in court to ANY questions asked. That was the scariest thing I've heard because it made me realize "confidential" is conditional.. if they're examining you for child custody and they want to talk to your docs, they can be subpoenaed. All your records can be subpoenaed. My psychologist has been subpoenaed before, and she says that it's rare and the court usually wants to uphold your confidentiality so your therapy is a safe place. I can sign a limited release that tells them only if I keep appointments or not, which has been done. So far, they've sent a list of questions to my psych, like what is my diagnosis, have I ever disregarded the health and safety of my children, etc. She wrote an awesome letter. CPS is willing to testify on my behalf, which should tell you I SHOULD be standing on firm ground, except my ex is a cop treating this like a criminal case. I've also been evaluated by a court psychologist, who said he and I have no "severe pathology," and stated neither of us was a clearly better parent. We both had "similar levels of pathology" and "numerous positive ualities." She recommended joint custody/shared time. My ex was not happy with this, and is still trying to open my records. My psych consulted with the court psych as well. They recommended therapy for my ex but he wont go. But I'm supposed to be looking "better"... cutting myself and having suidical thoughts makes me crazy again. All that stuff is supposed to be in the "past." So I'm afraid to risk it...

Post edited by: MissGreen, at: 01/10/2010 05:37 PM


01/10/2010 05:53 PM
Thomps
Thomps  
Posts: 1038
Senior Member

When I was going through 'my' divorce and custody of my children,,,well we had to keep going back every 6mos about custody, First they went to my parents, then they went to my X,,,but I nener,never gave up I wrote letters to the court mediator,made appts with CPS everything I COULD POSSIBLY think to do I did; & the court finally settled on joint. So that is very, very common nowadays,joint custody & it is a workable alternative to you recieving full custody I would think,,, It worked out OK for me,we dealt with it.

TRY to stay strong.

Sincerly, Debbie


01/10/2010 06:39 PM
Annabeth
Annabeth  
Posts: 1558
Senior Member

I'm glad things are going better. *hugs*

01/10/2010 06:49 PM
DXhopeless

well you need to do what is best for both you and your children, and if you are not mentally well you cant be adding the stress of raising the children on your own.

you need to be honest with your doc for your own sake. if you are having suicidal feelings and thoughts you cant hide that because it could compromise your case...if you are having suicidal thoughts that is a problem not something you can leave out.

although i do understand your want for confidentiality, mental health is still such a touchy subject (which is dumb, everyone needs a freaking shrink) but if its at the risk of you and your children its not a risk you can take.

i understand its hard but i cant think of a nice way to say this, you cant hold back that you are feeling suicidal because you want to have your kids back...that is clearly putting them at risk, whether there has been a previous problem or not. you need to help yourself first.


01/11/2010 06:06 PM
MissGreen
 
Posts: 577
Member

I just cant believe he replaced me so quickly... and is being so high and mighty about having a "good" relationship with a "good" person... and I cant stand the way I feel. He has been lying about having a relaionship with anyone in court and now I have photo evidence of this woman playing with my kids, her kid.. them all together at thanksgiving.. it dictates how I feel about myself. I have nobody, and I dont know how I could ever trust anyone again after what he did to me.. and he gets the happy ending? MY happy ending? I cant take it.

01/11/2010 07:06 PM
DXhopeless

i understand thats really hard to see, especially when you then compare that situation to yours. but you need to start taking care of yourself first and foremost and stop worrying about what he is doing and how his social or romantic life is. it will prevent you from really moving on and starting your own future, instead of just living to spite him.
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