Borderline Personality Support Group

Is it wrong for people to blame everything on us when we lash out at them under their provocation?

Last time I lashed out at my ex, everyone was blaming me for everything, even though he was the one provoking me. And they all said, "It's all your fault. Everything is your fault".

It makes me cry that to live with BPD and be blamed for things you never really get to control--it is unfair.

Plus, my classmate told me, "Even if someone is willing to listen to you, there will always be prejudice." That is why I never trust anyone I know. They always take away the people that make me happy and blame me. How could I trust anyone right now? Even when I was in Grade 3. She took away my source of happiness. They got married. I'm sorry. I just need to let it out--

Franz, I kind of know what you're saying. Do you sometimes feel like someone keeps provoking you and you just stay quiet and take it until you can't stand it anymore and then you blow up? I don't know if that's part of the BPD or if that's exactly what you're saying, but I have that problem. Rather then just standing up for myself at the beginning, I just let it fester and then, "Boom!"

I've been thinking about the incident when you were in the third grade. I can imagine that it hurt a lot. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think the motive was to take your teacher/happiness away from you. I think it's just the way things played out. Does that make any sense?

Angela has a good point about your teacher. I highly doubt they got married just to hurt you.

Thanks Angela and Annabeth. I have tried to come in terms with that for years. Maybe I was a child then. I was still growing up. Right now I am a bit of an adult and I guess if I want to keep my life straight, I have to accept that I will always feel rejection.

My psychiatrist told me to think beautiful, and try to restructure everything when I feel low-esteemed. Sorry I only got to reply now. It's 9pm here just got home from the hospital where I have my duty

Post edited by: guilbautedsookie, at: 01/11/2010 04:54 AM

You won't always be rejected, but it is something we have to learn to deal with. We take negativity harder than most people, and much more personally, but with time and therapy we can get past that to the point where it doesn't hurt us any more.