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10/26/2012 07:32 AM

I have made such a mess of my life that I need to start again...

parachute
parachute  
Posts: 7
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Post edited by: parachute, at: 04/03/2013 08:54 PM
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10/26/2012 03:20 PM
mem179

I could have written that post myself. I have a lot of shame about things I have done.

I am guessing people are not as fixated on your mistakes as you are. Unless you really want to move, I would suggest making amends where possible and just focusing on your new life in your old city. What do you think?


10/26/2012 05:08 PM
Kissietina
Kissietina  
Posts: 1011
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Hi Parachute and welcome. I think Pet maybe right that a lot of this might be more your in your mind. Sometimes when i'm feeling really self conscious i think that every laugh or snicker is someone commenting about me but when i'm in ear shot of the conversation it is rarely if ever about me. have you heard anyone make any comments about you or has anyone stated that they have heard something about you?

10/30/2012 06:28 PM
Darkstar
Darkstar  
Posts: 86
Member

I have started over more times than I can count for this very same reason. As a matter of fact I did it again this year. I moved from sunny Florida to Northern Michigan because I couldn't cope with anything or anyone and was tired of being a fuck up. I'm doing absolutely nothing right now except learning how to accept and love myself because I know until I master those two things my life will continue to be a train wreck.

11/02/2012 05:49 AM
parachute
parachute  
Posts: 7
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Post edited by: parachute, at: 04/03/2013 08:54 PM

11/02/2012 06:44 AM
mem179

Parachute, I can certainly hear your despair. I have wanted to move out of this city as well, but have family that I don't want to leave.

I do think if you could find even one positive niche for yourself in your current city that would make an enormous difference. And of course you need to get out of your abusive relationship Sad. Do you have a therapist or someone to help with that and all of this?

I can say for myself that some of the horrible memories lose a little sting over time. It is still difficult, though.

Could you write out a detailed pros and cons list of both staying in your current city and of moving to another? It would look like four boxes. Sometimes having things right out in front of you helps.


11/02/2012 07:56 AM
parachute
parachute  
Posts: 7
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Post edited by: parachute, at: 04/03/2013 08:56 PM

11/02/2012 11:05 AM
mem179

Sounds like a difficult position to be in. Do you not have mental health insurance that covers therapy? Your bf sounds like an abusive controlling bully. No wonder you feel like sh*t Sad. Why do you stay?

Volunteering is fantastic as is getting out Smile. In terms of moving, everyone willh ave different reasons, but there is a thing called the geographic cure, which basically amounts to swithing your place on the map to try to leave yourself behind. Unfortunately, we cannot do that ;/.

I wish you the best with this tough decision. You are not broken, but bpd is a sucky disorder that takes time to address and work through.


11/03/2012 03:16 AM
MsAspiring
MsAspiring  
Posts: 1614
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I just wanted to add that with all the adversity and sh*t that has happened in my life the past 18 months, I feel like my life is train wreck! I feel like I might be the next Anna NIcole Smith!

11/04/2012 05:44 AM
parachute
parachute  
Posts: 7
New Member

Dizzy

Post edited by: parachute, at: 11/04/2012 11:21 AM

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