Blended Families & Stepparenting Group

I am mother to 3 kids, girls are 19 and 17, and son is 11...married almost 6 years to a great guy with a 15 yr old daughter and 13 yr old son,i have been the mediator between him and my kids the whole time...but it has recently come to more as my 17 yr old attempted suicide...during counseling for this it was revealed that he is a big part of the problem for her...she feels i choose him over her. she and i have our own issues as well, but i love her and we will get thru it...

He is very strict and my kids do not like it...my 19 yr old has recently come home from college for the summer and has made it clear to me she doesnt like him and doesnt want to be around him...my son, i believe would like a better relationship with him, but hubby doesnt have any interest in my kids other than to catch them doing wrong and over-correct them...I repeatedly tell him to stop, they arent his kids and thats that...

where his kids are concerned, i have no say in their lives...and recently he has stated "they are not my concern"...which really hurt.

my problem is do i leave the man i love and really want to grow old with because of the way my kids feel??

we have done counseling, but it goes back to the way it was before...

Any suggestions???

Yikes..That is a tough one!I am kind of in a similar situation.I have 2 teenage boys that dislike their step father.I KNOW my husband does not mistreat them, but he also dont take any BS from them.Teenagers will run all over you if you will let them, they will pull guilt trips and make you feel like the most horrible parent on the face of the earth.I think maybe the mothers of teenagers need a whole other support group..LOL!Kids have a problem taking orders from anyone, especially someone who is not their parent.

I can't really tell you what to do...but i think you know in your heart if your kids are being "abused".If your husband is abusive to them, I would demand changes or else...

Sorry i can't be more help.But just know I know EXACTLY how you feel.

Unless your husband is willing to accept your kids, then you should re-evaluate your relationship with him? Why would you want to be with someone who isn't willing to accept your kids and isn't willing to have you as a part of his kids lives?

I have a three year old and my boyfriend is definitely more strict than I am (lets just say he gives her one chance, and I give her 4). Yes, he is more quick to respond to negative behaivor but he truly loves her and tells her he loves her so she knows both sides. Its truly like having a second daddy for her. If my daughter tried to commit suicide and told me my husband was the reason... I would definitely think twice on whether that relationship was worth the price of my daughter's life.