Bisexuality Support Group

I'm glad her therapy is going good, just don't suprised if it gets bumpy.

It can be hard to talk about, I am more comfortable talking about sex in bed in the dark immediately after sex. I am more comfortable because we aren't looking at each other so I don't get emabarassed and usually if we are already in an intimate mood it's just easier to talk about. Sometimes before sex is also a good time to talk if we're watching a movie or something. Movies are good because you don't have to say as much you can just refer to what's happening. Sometimes I have a very hard time just saying what I want but if it's there on screen I can usually whisper "could you do that to me?" haha.

I hope you find a way to talk to her. Do you have toys that you use on her? Could you do to her what you want and then ask her how she would feel about doing it to you? Could you shop for toys together? It might make it easier for her if you go together and pick some things out.

Sunny

The only toy she has she bought a couple years ago, she doesn't really touch it very often lol. I will say that about a year ago she offered to use it on me, which went pretty well but she never made the offer after that...as far as I know she had no complaints about it and she seemed to enjoy herself.

If my wife had only had me and her toys to satisfy her, we would go broke buying all the batteries she would need. LOL

lol

Hello everyone. Tom have you had any luck talking to your girlfriend? Could you try to talk to her about when she did use the toy and let her know you really enjoyed it and would like to repeat the experience? Maybe then suggest shopping for some stuff together.

This group is really slow lately, I wonder where all of the bisexuals are hiding???

Sunny

Idk, I'd like to talk to her about it. It's just from past experience with the way it turned out whenever we would get into conversations about it before, I'm a bit nervous to bring it up. If there's one thing I hate it's when we end up fighting, and I guess I've sort of been avoiding it just so I don't have to worry about getting into some sort of an awkward argument about it with her.

You sound like you love her very much and I'm sure you have a great relationship otherwise and I'm not trying to be negative but I think it sucks that you have to feel so awkward and nervous. A relationship is supposed to be about honesty and openess and trust. I'm sure you have those things but when the ares you don't have them in is sex it can really suck. My ex was jealous and would get all crazy whenever I said I thought a guy was cute or something, I hated it. I think if she wouldn't have been always thinking I was going to cheat I might not have...

People argue, if it's healthy it can be healing, if not it's awful but relationships where people never fight are usually not going to work anyway. Usually if there is no fighting at all then someone is holding in their feelings and will eventually explode. That's been my experience anyway. I've been on both ends of that, never pretty.

On the other hand I very well understand that someone who has been sexually abused can have all kinds of hang-ups, issues talking about sex, flashbacks and all other types of strange behavior so Your girlfriend could just be going through her own shit right now is is just not emotionally up to handling anything that may rock her boat.

Sunny

That's pretty much what I think is going on, she just doesn't feel comfortable getting into it. I know she thinks I'm going to cheat because one of the last times we talked about it she brought that up, I kept insisting that I never would and then she pulled the whole "well if your attracted to that then wouldn't you want to be with what your attracted to rather than me" card. I think it's a combination of not wanting to argue because I'm just so sick of it and feeling awkward at the same time. We fight about everything else, I'm the kinda person who believes that like you said fighting is necessary in order to maintain a healthy relationship, it's just when it comes to that one topic I would really rather not get into it at all. It's not just that though, I think honestly she's struggling with her own sexuality for some reason too. Why I don't know, she's been with other women before and she never really seemed ashamed of it, but every once in a while she'll bring up that she wants to have a threesome or be with a woman. When we talk about it for a while eventually she changes the topic and when I come back to it later she says she changed her mind.

On top of that there's the fact that like I said, she had those porn DVDs that appealed to her attraction and told me I could have whatever I wanted but as soon as I got something she completely changed her opinion and got rid of her DVDs only so that I would get rid of mine. I know it's not completely off her mind, I just really wish I knew why she feels the need to cover it up and hide it when she knows damn well that I won't judge her for who she is as long as she doesn't judge me. It's frustrating.