Bisexuality Support Group

I'm Tom, I'm new here...I came here because I figure it would be nice to have people to actually talk to when I need to and they can talk to me in return if they want to. For starters I'm 23 and I have a girlfriend...I'm bisexual and I told a few people back in high school but never mentioned it again. As a result I think they all sort of forgot if that's at all possible and so I guess I'm still kind of in the closet about it. I've never been with anyone of the same sex but I know it's something I'm attracted to...it's just not the right time to try anything I suppose.

Hi Tom,

Welcome to the group. I'm a 56 year old, married, bisexual guy (my wife knows), I didn't discover I am Bi until I was in my late 40s. I’m sorry it took so long.

Take care,

Larry

Hi Tom, nice to meet you. I've known I was bi since I was about 14 ( I'm 36 now). My husband knows, has always known, and we've been together for 12 years and dating girls together for the last 6.

I take it your girlfriend doesn't know either? Have you wanted to share it with her or is it something you're still trying to figure out on your own? The people you told, do you think they forgot or maybe thought you were joking or are maybe trying to avoid the subject? Are these people still a part of your life? Anyone you would still want to talk to about it?

It is nice to talk to people who understand or kind of know what you're going through, I hope you find a lot of support and advice here.

Sunny

My girlfriend knows, she is also bisexual and leans more towards women (I'm the only guy she has ever felt comfortable dating) but for some reason when I try to talk about myself with her, she get's this strange sort of attitude. She makes it feel kind of awkward to talk about with her, like she doesn't want to believe that I am...you would think since she is to it would be easier, that she would be a little more understanding.

Only one of the people I told did not believe me, but after a while he understood that I was telling the truth. That was my best friend, practically my brother and he moved to NC a couple years ago and stopped talking to me....not because of that, just everyone out in NC convinced him that everyone in Philadelphia was bad news and kind of forced him to stop talking with everyone. The other people, I don't know if they forgot or they just are trying to avoid the topic...I know other people that are bisexual, and some of them are the ones I talked to about it with. I think it's just because I met a girl started dating her and never mentioned it again, they probably assume it was some sort of phase or something. I have known since I was about 15-years old, it was sort of something that hit me right out of nowhere, which I guess is normal around that age. It bothered me for about a year or so...it's a very confusing topic...I'm attracted to women but I am also attracted to what some would call transvestites, and so I always found myself wondering if I'm attracted to someone who looks like a woman but has a penis what the hell does that make me lol.

Took me a couple years, but I came to the conclusion that it makes me nothing more than bisexual as I am also still attracted to women too.

Post edited by: Tom1989, at: 05/14/2012 02:56 PM

I dated a guy once who I was sure was bi (I found out later I was right) but he kept denying it everytime I tried to bring it up, he knew about me, everyone always has, but he acted like "no way, not me" even though he told me he had an experience when he was in an all boys school. I didn't get it either.

Maybe she is afraid you'll leave her or cheat on her or maybe she doesn't want to share. Maybe even though she's bi she's uncomfortable with the thought of two men. Maybe since you are the only guy she's been comfortable with she's afraid you'll want a 3some. It could be so many things and if you can't get her to open up it's going to be difficult to figure it out.

Have you tried writing her a letter? Just spilling it all out and ask her to read it with you maybe? I write everything so when I am having a hard time talking to someone or I can't get them to listen I usually try a letter or something. I would try to get somewhere with some dialogue with your girlfriend before you really try and share it with too many other people as that may make her uncomfortable also. Like you are advertising or something. Girls are complicated as I'm sure you know.

Like you said it can be a confusing topic and it can remain confusing for some people for years. I spent about 7 or 8 years trying to decide if I was a lesbian or straight. I dated a lesbian who complicated things by saying bi didn't exist and that I was just a greedy fence sitter. I have kind of come to the conclusion that none of it really exists, we are all just people with changing preferences throughout our lives, some days I really like girls, some days guys and some days I hate everyone so what am I then?

Sunny

I denied being Bi for years, my wife and I had several MFM threesomes and I never touched him. Then one day it happened, and I couldn’t believe how much I was enjoying performing oral on him, that was the moment I realized that I was Bi. Now I take pleasure in the fact that I am Bi, I just wish I had discovered the joys of being Bi sooner.

Post edited by: bilarry, at: 05/30/2012 03:52 AM