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04/20/2011 09:09 PM

new and nervous

QuietFantasy
QuietFantasy  
Posts: 26
Member

Hi, my name is Jasmine, and I have recently been diagnosed as having bipolar. I was diagnosed with major depression two years ago during one of my lows and the doctor wanted me to go to therapy and the psych doc to be put on meds. Of course when I went hi again, I canceled all my appointments and was convinced that everyone just wanted to alter me because I was "perfect". I didn't want to take any meds then, hated doctors and anyone with the title Dr, and could careless about talking about my feelings because no one listens anyway.

Well when I got back with my high school sweetheart, and he started pointing out my varied emotions, anxiety, obsessions, and told me that racing thoughts were not normal, and after so many times of wanting to break up with him, arguments that shouldn't have happened but I just couldn't stop, crying uncontrollable, he still proposed to me, and told me he wasn't going anywhere and wanted me to get help. I figured that because he is the best to me, and I always gives me the best, then I need to go back to the doctor and give him my best.

after telling all of this to my doctor, and answering a bunch of questions where I had to think back to when i was 13 and first started having trouble (I am 22) My diagnoses was changed to bipolar, and I was given directions to a crisis clinic for emergency meds until my appointment with my psych doc next month.

Now I'm on Risperidone 2mg, and going back soon to start some more meds. I'm still quite nervous about all of this. Only 2 people know that I'm bipolar. I'm afraid that no one will believe me if I tell them, just because I have never been hospitalized Unsure

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04/21/2011 12:32 AM
battywitch
battywitch  
Posts: 173
Member

Glad you are here Jasmine and proud of you for taking the steps you have already. I was only diagnosed in December although I've been this way for over 20 years. I've never been hospitalized either and it means nothing. What I find works for me is that if people say that they don't believe me, then I ask them when they were qualified as a psychiatrist because my pdoc is 100% positive that I definitely have bipolar.

MDJ has been an amazing help to me because no matter how I feel or what I do, the folks on here are ready to listen and give advice and share their own stories to help us along, and the best thing ever is that no matter what, nobody on here ever judges us.

I wish you all the best and can only say that everyone is here to help when you need it.

Love and Light

Suze


04/21/2011 05:10 AM
ASO1979able
ASO1979able  
Posts: 6985
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hi Jasmine, it's nice to meet you. The official diagnosis of Bipolar can be very confusing, but there is a lot of information out there to help you better understand what to expect. I am glad that you have found our group, you will get a lot of support here.

04/21/2011 01:57 PM
Kelti
Kelti  
Posts: 4157
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

It can be common for people like us to cancel drs. appts / quit taking meds when we feel fine, but that is just a symptom of the illness. Try to keep that in mind. It is the meds that are making us feel ok. Just like taking meds for diabetes. They regulate your blood sugar; quit taking them and the blood sugar goes out of control again.

Be very selective with who you share your diagnosis with. I say really think that one through first. Telling the wrong people can make you feel quite bad in some way.

Your boyfriend sounds like a real winner. I would hang onto him. The pair of you can go down the road of learning and researching bipolar together. How exciting is that???

Welcome to MDJunction! We are glad you chose us to confide in. We will be here for you and you can PM any of us any time, not just the Group Leaders. Keep us posted. We care.


04/21/2011 02:00 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16593
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hello Jasmine! You have come to a very supportive place. We will be here for you through thick and thin. I'm glad you are taking the steps to get better. Medications are a core part of getting stable. You have a wonderful boyfriend. Sounds like he's going to support you through everything. He's stuck by you and that is awesome. You are lucky to be diagnosed so young too. I was 33 when I got diagnosed correctly. Prior to that diagnosis, I was diagnosed with depression. You will learn a lot here and make many super nice friends. I hope you love it here as much as I do! Welcome to the group!

04/22/2011 10:43 AM
QuietFantasy
QuietFantasy  
Posts: 26
Member

thanks for all of the encouragement. I really need as much as I can get, right now I'm still getting used to taking meds everyday. this is something I have never had to do

04/23/2011 02:03 PM
Eric17
Eric17  
Posts: 370
Member

Welcome Jasmine:

I am glad to hear that you sought help and are willing to consider medications as a means to finding wellness. As mentioned, your fear is very normal. I was diagnosed thirteen years ago(have been ill since childhood) and I'll tell you what... I am still afraid at times. Our illness is very serious and, as such, can cause anxiety as we learn to live with the changes in our moods (and behaviors).

I agree with Kelti; consider being very selective about who you disclose your illness too. After being diagnosed I told people I thought were good friends and a few close co-workers and paid a heavy price. Unfortunately, many people buy into the stigma attached to mental illness. It's not right but it is what it is. The only people in my world that are aware are immediate family and one great friend. Just my thoughts on that subject.

Last night I was reading a blog written by a wonderful woman who has BP. It touches on the fear we have at times... You may find it interesting:

http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/04/ paralyzing-fear-of-bipolar-disorder/

Good for your boyfriend by the way. Give him a hug; it's so awesome when I hear of significant others that support their loved ones (with BP).

Take care.

Eric

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