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03/27/2010 10:18 PM

bad sleepless nights and relationship work.

Fairy25
Posts: 20
Member

I have been depressed for so long and on medication that it does work but I can't seen to shut my brain off. I am dealing with bi-polar anger and frustration and family to support yes but I also have a bf worried about our relationship because we have been going out for almost a year which i don't want my illness to to affect my relationship. so my question can our relationship work and why do I have sleepless nights.
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03/28/2010 06:10 AM
Alwaysdifferent
Posts: 415
Senior Member

Welcome Caitlyn,

I'm glad you found us. I am sorry you are having a hard time sleeping and anger. I do understand and have dealt with both and from time to time still deal with both issues. My first question is have you told your pdoc about the issues? Your medication may need to be adjusted? The next thing I would say is that medication is very necessary for those of us that suffer from BP and we need to be on it for the rest of our lives. But it does not cure us it just helps to stabilize us. And once a good ‘cocktail' of meds start stabilizing you they still may need adjusting from time to time. Also know that even on meds we can still have episodes. Stress is our enemy with BP it can cause episodes.

Another issue for us is we have to learn new behaviors; the good news is you are only nineteen so it should not be as difficult to change the habits. I have suffered from BP for about fifty years and only on meds on and off for three years. I say on and off because it took me time to accept having the mental illness and being on meds for the rest of my life. The sleepless nights with a racing mind should be addressed with your pdoc and the anger can be curved somewhat with meds as well, but the anger issue also takes talk therapy, conscious work and the willingness and understanding that you have to form new habits. It takes about ninety intense conscious days to form a new habit; not to mention removing the old. But you absolutely can do it. I know you're willing because you found us and are seeking advice and that is about seventy percent of the challenge.

I deal with my anger several ways. I find outlets to let it out in the right way. For instance I go to the gym usually five to six days a week. Exercising is a good way to handle anger. Keeping a private journal helps as well. And talk therapy really can help. But all these things take effort and time, so be patient.

As far as your boyfriend, it's great that you found someone to care about and that cares about you but remember the only thing you will ever be able to control while here on earth is you. You do the best you can, you are who you are. These are all just my experiences so please do seek out your pdoc and tdoc. Feel free to PM at anytime I am a great listener and have many life experiences. I hope this finds you feeling better. Thanks for joining our group and please keep posting. We are unique but not alone…

Have a wonderful day…

A Cool


03/31/2010 06:04 AM
Lrose35
Lrose35  
Posts: 1732
Senior Member

Welcome to the group! I think that anything I could say has already been said by two of the best. I think that you should have your boyfriend learn as much as possible about your illness. You should too. you are still in the beginning stages of adult life so you have all the time in the world to figure it out. As far as to why you are not sleeping maybe it is because you are being stressed out by all of this relationship stuff. Just try to relax about it. It will all work itself out. you can have a successful relationship as a bipolar. There are as many ups and downs as the NORMALS have but ours are just more obvious. I think the best thing is that you two learn each others triggers because believe it or not, he has them too even without being bipolar. Then you learn to work with them. I am sure it will all work out. Right now just concentrate on getting some good sound sleep! If you are still depressed while on your medication perhaps you should talk to your pdoc and see if maybe your meds need a little adjusting. Its amazing what a small change can do to make a big change in the way you react to it.

Post edited by: Lrose35, at: 03/31/2010 06:06 AM


03/31/2010 08:51 AM
achilles

The one positive thing you can do for the health of your relationship (and for your benefit as well) is to take complete, total, 100% ownership of your illness. That requires honesty with yourself and monitoring your own moods, as well as taking your meds, seeing your tdoc and pdoc faithfully, getting the right amount of rest, etc. Bipolar, in some ways, is a good thing: it's like a built-in early warning system, and if you find yourself getting stressed or triggered, you have to listen to that system when it goes off.

As far as the sleepless nights go, that's symptomatic of the illness, and that's something you have to pay attention to. Bipolar patients are at risk when they don't get enough sleep. My suggestion is to work closely with your pdoc: tell him you're having insomnia, and he will very likely prescribe something like Seroquel, which in low dosages is a sleep aid.

Best of luck,

"Achilles"

Post edited by: achilles, at: 03/31/2010 11:59 AM


04/08/2010 09:04 PM
Fairy25
Posts: 20
Member

Okay I think t should work.

04/13/2010 10:52 PM
Fairy25
Posts: 20
Member

thanks for the advice. I will and the fact that I know I am never alone is a plus.

04/13/2010 10:55 PM
Fairy25
Posts: 20
Member

I have one bad spell but things are better but every time I think things are good they are not you know. I was trying to go school after high school but never made it. I would really love to go sometimes I feel like I let myself down.

04/21/2010 06:03 PM
Fairy25
Posts: 20
Member

I am having good days with bad days but things are getting to the point that we are learning how to dealing with my issues. That everything is an milestone for me.
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