Bipolars Only Online Support Group

The Lows...

About a year ago I posted a discussion "So this is what clarity feels like".

Now a year later I find myself on the flipside of things. I've been depressed for what seems like a very long time. I dont want to do anything, participate in anything. If I didnt have to work i probably wouldn't leave the house.Im angry,sad, and frustrated with my self and my surroundings.Im not on any meds and i do not have a doctor. I plan goals that i know are attainable but make no efforts to even start. Why why am i like this?! Self hate is becoming stronger daily. When will it end.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way... And I honestly wish I had a solid answer for you. All I can speak from is my own reality and that is- as a person living with bipolar disorder- well this bipolar person- I have to be on Meds. I've tried to do it on my own and failed repetitively- and actually each time I would go off the Meds my episodes would get worse, hallucinationy worse (hallucinations in mania)- it actually started to scare me and help me recognize how progressive this illness can be. Technically- u get on the right antidepressant- maybe it will only take a month, three weeks, everyone is different. Others would suggest therapy, I partake in that as well... When I do get into a depressive episode- medicated and compliant- they don't usually last very long and seem less intense. It's a pain in he ass truthfully I know- but I do try to look it as just taking medication for any illness (bipolar is a brain disorder- brains an organ!). If I had diabetes (yes I'm going there- annoying common comparison with not a lot to do with BP) I would take medication to keep healthy and with all my limbs- that could be a first step for you- the feelings you are feeling are common feelings I hear here and feel myself... That could be an achievable goal- to see a doc- a psychiatrist. I wish you the best.

Post edited by: bfly, at: 10/27/2012 05:09 PM

Thank you, I really did think I was stronger then meds. Insurance starts in 2 months so I will see if the clinic can help at all. Thank you again for your words.

You are welcome- I know that desire too... And it's not really about being "stronger" if we accept that we have an illness that can be (CAN) be helped with Meds- then there is hope in healing... Two months is perfect in some ways... I would find out who your insurance will be and what docs they cover - because it can take a long time to secure an appt... Do the leg work now (which I know in depression can be like asking you push a two ton truck with your tongue!)... But you may feel accomplished and you will be in a better place in two months- post here as much as you need- let us help get u through the tough patches until then! Peace to you.

im sorry your in a bad place

just keep trying and try to help others with your problem

I also require meds in order to be stable. I hope you find ones that work well for you as soon as your insurance kicks in.

Thank you everyone for your support

You feeling any better?

I can relate the time I felt just this way. I don't know why it passed, but it did. Probably meds, therapy, prayer, support groups and lots of tools. Those were the only tools I would use. I am sorry you are going through this.

I am so sorry that you feel this way. I have been on meds now for years and still feel the way you do at times. No one should have to feel this way. It's just unfair. It's like watching the world through a window. My p/doc and t/doc have helped, but still can't help me to feel down at times. Hopefully you are considering (or on) meds and therapy if you haven't thus far.