This is a bit of a long one. It comes from "Until Today by Iyanla Vanzant". It is a great book that helps me focus my inner thoughts a bit. There is a new one for each day of the year. A daily devotions. Unworthiness I will realize my own worth when I accept...what I believe either pushes me into a hole or raises me toward the light. The feeling of unworthiness is like a gaping hole in your heart. You never can seem to have or do enough to fill the hole. As a matter of fact, the more you do get and the more you do try to fill the hole, the deeper, wider and more painful it seems to become. As it does, you set yourself up to do more things that seem to leave you yearning for more of something you can't quite name. People who feel unworthy are always working on themselves. They always want to be better, do better, know more and do more. They believe that there is some one thing somewhere out there that will catapult them into a place of worth and value. In the quest to find it, they often dig themselves deeper into the hole because now they have a laundry list of things they have done and not completed, tried and been dissatisfied with. In the end, when those who believe they are unworthy run out of things to do to in an attempt to make themselves feel good, they will find someone else to work on. That's when the hole becomes a cave! The only cure for a true sense of unworthiness is belief. Believe that you are more than anyone may have ever told you, and you will be more. Believe that you miraculous, and your heart will be filled with the love and joy that you have for yourself. Seeking anything less than a total belief in your worthiness is akin to placing a sheet over a hole. If you are not careful, the sheet will give way and you will fall into the hole. Until today...you may have been searching for something to make you feel worthy. Just for today, believe in your worthiness! Embrace your worthiness by simply being still and calling it forward in your heart. Today I am devoted to climbing out of unworthiness into the light of truth about myself! One way I look at this is that the void isn't to be filled but rather emptied. The hole is full of pain, wounds and scars. The only way to close the hole is to work on and heal those parts that are hurting and holding me back. The more the hole closes, the more light shines through. I am notoriously guilty of feeling worthless. I am guilty of trying to fill the void with external stuff. I am guilt of letting external influences shape my self-image. I know that I am smart and creative. Kind, even. So often though I feel bad and don't believe that I am more than I think I am. Maybe it is that I am terrified as being arrogant. I really don't know. I guess when we are told that we are not good enough or bad, we start to believe it. It isn't until it is pointed out sometimes that we get the hint. At least I am like that....more often than I like to admit. I know it is irrational but it is there anyway. I need to find and heal the wounds and scars that keep the void wide open. This is what I believe anyway. Post edited by: TexasYankee, at: 05/22/2012 04:42 AM Blessings, strength and courage to all.
Angela
~"Faith makes things possible.....not easy!"
~ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. " You have to want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."- Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers
~Have faith. Without faith there is no hope. Without hope there is nothing.
Although I may be knowledgeable, I am not a doctor, therapist or any other professional in this area. My experiences and opinion are just that. Hopefully others can relate though. :) |
