Bipolars Only Online Support Group

Hello Group!

I had been doing good on an additional small dose of seroquel with my tegretal and abilify. Yesterday My fiance made me mad or hurt my feelings. He said he would like to go to a going away party for one of his employees. He said are'nt we celebrating your birthday a different day anyway? O I was so hurt. to top it off his ex would be there. I was pretty upset, and we handled it like mature adults, and he said he wouldnt go and that he was sorry. Well today I am full of rage and anger and hurt. Almost as if my emotions did not match the circumstances. It is supposed to be over with. On the phone today I told him if he told his boss he wouldnt be there cuz it is my birthday. He said yes. I asked him if his boss asked him if he should have said that it was my birthday to begin with. He said no. I said I come first. He said I thought we were done with that. I said we are. then I got all dressed up and brought him lunch, all the while I didnt' tell him Im throwing stuff at the walls. I am just so mad and I can't make it go away. My doc not in until wed. I hope I can keep it together when he comes home.

I understand how you are feeling. I've had episodes like that and it's hard. Dealing with feelings you aren't sure are appropriate. I hope you are able to work through it. I eventually had a break down over it and my then boyfriend and did get in a fight, so things gotten broken and somehow we were able to get through it.

Rage and anger can be a tough one to beat. I had to go thru some therapy to help me with mine for about 3 months. I learned it is best for me to write about such strong feelings like this; also write about depression and mania and boy it sure has paid off. I don't get really angry like I used to. It takes a lot of hard work plus after the anger we must take responsibility for it and apologize. I tell myself that just b/c I am bipolar that is no excuse for me to act like that. Plus I am no spring chicken any more either and the years that have gone by has taught me a lot about my own behaviour. I am 60 now and I just simply decided to put all that kind of energy to better use. Like doing dishes or cleaning house or maybe even getting out of the house by myself and go to the mall or somewhere. You don't even have to spend any money at the mall. Just the walking around and people watching is a good thing to do. It helps me to calm down then I can go back home and be in a better state of mind.

I did do some therapy before. maybe I should start again. My fiance did come home and we talked it out. He said if I wasnt done talking about it then I need to tell him instead of letting it boil inside me. He is such a good man!