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Only Bipolars Forums › General & Support › Ok it's really getting bad
06/17/2011 04:17 PM
Reality79
Reality79
 
Posts: 18
Member
I have been in a manic state for over 2-3 weeks now. I have been spending money and I can't control myself. A digital camera, Android Ipad, 4 pairs of shoes. Also buying food just to throw it away. Opening credit cards, buying things on ebay. It's really bad. But I don't know what do with myself. When I am not buying I am over eating. Im shaking trying to keep myself from breaking. I really need help. I cant do this.
The only thing between you and your dreams is action.
Reply

06/17/2011 04:22 PM  Top
TexasYankee
TexasYankee
 
Posts: 4286
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate
First off, welcome! Smile

You really need to get ahold of your pdoc, asap. Something is out of whack. Have you gone beyond your means with your finances? Can you return any of them, if you need to? What meds are you taking? Do you take meds?

Hang in there, hon. There is help out there.

Blessings, strength and courage to all.
Angela


~"Faith makes things possible.....not easy!"

~ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. " You have to want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."- Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

~Have faith. Without faith there is no hope. Without hope there is nothing.

Although I may be knowledgeable, I am not a doctor, therapist or any other professional in this area. My experiences and opinion are just that. Hopefully others can relate though. :)

Previous discussions I participated in:
Daily Numbers, June 17th
How's Your Day 6/17/11
hi

06/17/2011 04:31 PM  Top
Reality79
Reality79
 
Posts: 18
Member
I dont have one, its just been one stressful thing after another, I have literary mad myself sick. had to go to the ER, just got my voice back. The things Im ordering are from China,lol It's to much and I want to give in. No one really realize how bad it is cause I keep making jokes and Ive gotten so good at hiding it. Im scared to say anything cause I might regret it it when I come out this episode. Im really scared.
The only thing between you and your dreams is action.

06/18/2011 04:57 AM  Top
TexasYankee
TexasYankee
 
Posts: 4286
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate
I understand "hiding" it. I do that often because no one that I know in my fleshy world understands. As for a pdoc, is it an issue of insurance or just needing to find one? If it is insurance, check to see if there are programs out there that help with uninsured treatments. I go through a county program and get my pdoc appts and meds paid for. (we don't have insurance and are very limited financially)

If it remains to be really bad, another trip to the ER may be in order. That gets damn expensive though. I would really find a pdoc and go that route. And soon. Mania can do so much damage.

Blessings, strength and courage to all.
Angela


~"Faith makes things possible.....not easy!"

~ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. " You have to want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."- Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

~Have faith. Without faith there is no hope. Without hope there is nothing.

Although I may be knowledgeable, I am not a doctor, therapist or any other professional in this area. My experiences and opinion are just that. Hopefully others can relate though. :)

Previous discussions I participated in:
Daily Numbers, June 17th
How's Your Day 6/17/11
hi

06/18/2011 12:50 PM  Top
JohninTN
Posts: 49
Member
I wish that I had more to offer other than simply saying that I understand. Know that people here care and I am confident that you will escape your current place.

John


Previous discussions I participated in:
Just been diagnosed ; Hello
Damaged Goods
hi

06/18/2011 12:58 PM  Top
Reality79
Reality79
 
Posts: 18
Member
I wanted to thank you so much. This post saved my life. Yesterday, was really the breaking point for me and it all came crashing down. Unfortunately my daughter saw the part of me I tried to hide from her for so long. I went into a hypo manic trance pacing and chanting Im Ok. I have never been so scared in my life cause I couldn't stop, even with her crying saying mommy tell me whats wrong I couldn't stop.

She had to call my sister who rushed over to my house, also seeing what I tried to hide from my family. She found me crouched down in a ball, shaking a crying. She helped me through it found my medication and made sure I took it. I am at her house now so she can keep a eye on me. I admitted to her the spending as well.

If I never posted this yesterday, I would have just kept going and really did some harm to myself. I was fooling myself into thinking I am ok and not as bad as I thought it was. I will start taking my meds and contact 211 to see what aid I can get. We were talking this morning and I think I need to really get honest with myself. So again I am so thankful for you and this site.

The only thing between you and your dreams is action.

06/19/2011 10:18 AM  Top
Jeffincicny
Posts: 1
New Member
Wow! I can't understand how this can happen to someone. I have my problems that I struggle with. I do not believe in medication. I think the medical and psychological professions are a farce to sell medicine made in a laboratory. I want to help people, but I don't know where to start. I have bills to pay and things that I have to do. We live in a selfish world, true, but is it possible that we are guilty of thinking too much?
If only we were more like the rest of the mammals. Sometimes we are closer to them the we care to admit. But I don't think puppies and kittens are guilty of over-thinking their existence.

06/19/2011 02:27 PM  Top
capecod84
capecod84
 
Posts: 1820
Senior Member
Jeff, meds suck but they save our lives. You have to accept your illness if you are bipolar. If you read through this site you will learn a lot and we will be more than happy to answer your questions. These can be life or death matters so please reconsider if you are depressed seek help from a qualified med professional.
My experience is no substitute for sound medical advice.

06/19/2011 04:44 PM  Top
Catbaloo
CatbalooPosts: 4737
Group Leader
I was unmedicated for years and I literally thank God every day for the medicines that were made in a laboratory. They have changed my life for the better.
My opinions are just opinions, and should be taken as such. I am not an expert on medicines or BP disorder.

06/19/2011 05:18 PM  Top
sarahtroy
sarahtroy
 
Posts: 12223
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate
Jeff, if you don't understand how this can happen to someone, you've never lived with the pain of mental illness. For Bipolar, the single most powerful intervention is medication. I am grateful for my medications.
Bipolar II, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia & PTSD; Alcoholic in recovery since 3/21/07.

Aplenzin 522mg; Pristiq 200mg; Lamictal 400mg; Geodon 160mg; Ativan 1mg TID; Deplin 15mg; Xanax PRN; Metoprol 100mg.

• "Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens."
• "My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." ~Edith Wharton
• "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Ian MacLaren (Usually mis-attributed to Plato)
• "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

My support and advice is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.

Previous discussions I participated in:
Lonely
is doc on right track?
Happy Father's Day
Reply

Health Topics: BP1, Manic, spending
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