Bipolars Only Online Support Group

Again and again and again my mom does the same dang thing to me in my life. Giving me a "choice" to say no to something, that I know will upset her if I say no. I never realized it before but it always happens around some holiday and among family there is always a big elephant in the room and sure drama to come if I do it because Im so upset, its hard to hide, if I don't then everyone is whispering in the other rooms about how us two are fighting. She's doing it again, she is so controlling in that way and now she is doing it. I feel like I'm already set up for failure coming soon on my daughter's bday. She wants me to think on it, of course, 'its totally your choice' and I have a month to fret and worry for the right decision..I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!!!!

I feel that rage, too. And my mother is also my biggest trigger. Nothing is right for her. I always make the wrong decisions. What makes it worse is that I want her approval - I want her to acknowledge my feelings. It will never happen, though.

How to deal with it? I don't know. I'm still working on that. I wish I could tell you something more, but I hope you take comfort in the knowledge that I understand what you are feeling.

There are some great books out there about emotional blackmail. You both might find them helpful. If nothing else, they are an interesting read.

At least she's asking you. My mom ignores the fact that I have bipolar all together.

My Mom's the only one in her world.

I was diagnosed with Hemochromatisis, first thing she said was "oh, my god, maybe I have it too!!" (she does not by the way, but mine type is genetic, so she gave it to me)

I told her my husband had asked for a divorce, she asked, "how much money is he giving you for the house". (nothing, BTW)

As for my bi polar...she does not even try to understand.

Post edited by: OrchidFlower, at: 05/29/2011 08:32 PM