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Only Bipolars ForumsGeneral & SupportHow do I help my husband while he deals with me?
08/02/2010 06:05 AM
adams811
 
Posts: 16
Member

My husband tries so hard to be patient with me and my moods. He tries to be understanding. But I know it is just as hard for him to live with me and deal with me being bipolar than it is with me being bipolar and trying to manage my life. How can I help him?
::In my weakness You are strong if I allow You to be. In my trials You are the answer if I turn to You. In my heart You are my everything...if I allow You to be.::
Reply

08/02/2010 06:18 AM  Top
FatherKarras
FatherKarras
 
Posts: 3261
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

The biggest thing is to love him as hard as you can in your more stable moments, and make sure he knows how you feel about him. At least for me, that would make a huge difference, just knowing that I'm still loved, and it would help to get me through those more trying times.
Patrick

Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream--EA Poe

Nobody loves you when you're down and out; Nobody sees you when you're on cloud 9--John Lennon

And in the end; the love you take; is equal to the love; you make--The Beatles

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man--Friedrich Nietzsche

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all--Emily Dickinson

Current drugs:
Effexor 150 mg
Risperidone 6 mg q am
Klonopin 1 mg tid

Previous discussions I participated in:
So Confused
New pond design
No satisfaction

08/02/2010 07:34 AM  Top
skullhappy
skullhappy
 
Posts: 743
Member

Are you seeing a pdoc? If not, go. It sounds like you need your meds tweaked, you shouldn't be having such extreme mood swings. Getting help might help ease tensions between you two. Also, he should research Bipolar as much as he can. Knowledge is power. And yes, love him with all your might. Tell him you love him. All the time. Best of luck to the both of you.
Lamictal 400 mg
Abilify 4 mg
Cymbalta 60 mg
lisinopril 20 mg

08/02/2010 08:11 AM  Top
SCarlson

Include him on your treatment. My hubby came with me to my last pdoc appt. I think it helped him to see me working with someone to stabilize myself. He also seems to get that I am not making this up.

08/02/2010 10:01 AM  Top
adams811
 
Posts: 16
Member

Thank you for the support. I try my best to show him that I love him but sometimes it just doesn't seem like it works. He doubts me at times because of my moods and how I am. I want him to know how much I love him and need him. I haven't had him come to any of my sessions, but I may do that. Thank you for the suggestion.
::In my weakness You are strong if I allow You to be. In my trials You are the answer if I turn to You. In my heart You are my everything...if I allow You to be.::

Previous discussions I participated in:
Hi, I'm new.
What are you thankful for ???

08/02/2010 12:26 PM  Top
Joy75
Joy75
 
Posts: 15649
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Being in a relationship with a person with bipolar has got to be hard, but people do it everyday. One of the most important things in any relationship bipolar or not is communication. Communicate with him. Tell him how you are feeling. Tell him if you feel a mood coming on. Listen to him when he thinks a mood is coming on. Tell him you love him, but don't suffocate him with it. I like the idea of him coming with you to your appointments. Include him in your learning. He loves you.
Joy, 37 years old

Blog:

http://www.joylepley.blogspot.com

Email:

simplyjoyful75@gmail.com

Bipolar type 2 and ADD

300mg Wellbutrin
200mg Lamictal
40mg Viibryd
15mg Abilify

I AM NEITHER A PSYCHIATRIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST. I AM HERE FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU ARE. TO GIVE AND RECEIVE SUPPORT. WHAT I SAY IS PURELY MY OPINION. PLEASE CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR FOR MEDICAL ADVICE.

Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It’s a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life. – Carrie Fisher

Previous discussions I participated in:
Staying Well
Lamictal - CAN'T SLEEP!
So Confused

08/02/2010 02:32 PM  Top
adams811
 
Posts: 16
Member

That's one of the biggest drawbacks in our marriage...communication. He gets frustrated because I don't communicate enough and I get frustrated because when I do try to communicate I can't get what I'm really trying to say out the way I want it to come out. I'm so used to just dealing with everything on my own and it's still difficult for me to talk to others, even my husband, about what's going on in my mind or head. He can't understand if I don't tell him, but sometimes I just don't know HOW to tell him.
::In my weakness You are strong if I allow You to be. In my trials You are the answer if I turn to You. In my heart You are my everything...if I allow You to be.::

Previous discussions I participated in:
Hi, I'm new.
What are you thankful for ???

08/02/2010 02:36 PM  Top
FatherKarras
FatherKarras
 
Posts: 3261
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I had much the same problem with my almost-ex. She would constantly ask what was wrong, and I didn't know how to answer her, b/c I didn't know myself (pre-diagnosis). Finally one day I just got pissed and said "I DON'T KNOW". Her response was "Oh. Okay".

It kinda resolved that issue for the most part. Just explain that sometimes there's nothing really wrong, it's just the bipolar.

Patrick

Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream--EA Poe

Nobody loves you when you're down and out; Nobody sees you when you're on cloud 9--John Lennon

And in the end; the love you take; is equal to the love; you make--The Beatles

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man--Friedrich Nietzsche

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all--Emily Dickinson

Current drugs:
Effexor 150 mg
Risperidone 6 mg q am
Klonopin 1 mg tid

Previous discussions I participated in:
So Confused
New pond design
No satisfaction

08/02/2010 02:41 PM  Top
Joy75
Joy75
 
Posts: 15649
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Could you write it down on paper and then give it to him? It might be easier that way to express how you are feeling. Sometimes I do that and the person can understand me way better than if I sit and try to say what I'm feeling. I can express it better on paper. Give it a try, it couldn't hurt.
Joy, 37 years old

Blog:

http://www.joylepley.blogspot.com

Email:

simplyjoyful75@gmail.com

Bipolar type 2 and ADD

300mg Wellbutrin
200mg Lamictal
40mg Viibryd
15mg Abilify

I AM NEITHER A PSYCHIATRIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST. I AM HERE FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU ARE. TO GIVE AND RECEIVE SUPPORT. WHAT I SAY IS PURELY MY OPINION. PLEASE CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR FOR MEDICAL ADVICE.

Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It’s a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life. – Carrie Fisher

Previous discussions I participated in:
Staying Well
Lamictal - CAN'T SLEEP!
So Confused

08/02/2010 05:14 PM  Top
adams811
 
Posts: 16
Member

FatherKarras--That is my answer a lot of the time! Lol. Sometimes I really just don't know what's wrong, I just know something is.

Joy75--I always fall back on writing. I am a writer at heart and I have always turned to paper to express what I am thinking or feeling. I feel like it is immature of me in some ways to always turn to paper. I'm tired of doing that in order to get how I feel out, but at the same time, it is so hard for me to verbally express myself.

::In my weakness You are strong if I allow You to be. In my trials You are the answer if I turn to You. In my heart You are my everything...if I allow You to be.::

Previous discussions I participated in:
Hi, I'm new.
What are you thankful for ???
Reply

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