Bipolars Dealing With Hypersexuality Group

My forgetter's getting better,

But my rememberer is broke

To you that may seem funny

But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering

If I really should be 'there'

And, when I try to think it through,

I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,

Say 'what am I here for?'

I wrack my brain, but all in vain!

A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away

Where it is safe, but, Gee!

The person it is safest from

Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,

Say 'Hi' and have a chat,

Then, when the person walks away

I ask myself, 'who the heck was that?

Yes, my forgetter's getting better

While my rememberer is broke,

And it's driving me plumb crazy

And that isn't any joke.

*If they didn't want guns in the store why did they name it "Target"? Sure sounds like a shooting range to me. But try carrying in a deer rifle in!

*McDonald's. Sounds like someplace where instead of burgers and fries they'd serve Corned Beef and Champ (A mashed potato & cabbage dish). Shouldn't the servers wear kilts?

*Why isn't WalMart full of wall-paper, indoor paint, trim boards and pictures? WALmart get it right!

* Yard sales and garage sales. NOT ONE OF THEM ever agreed on a price for the grass or garage.

* What is a 'Rummage'? And why do they get mad when I ask what brand of rummages they have for sale?

* 411 "Information": HA! Not one of them knew where Zimbawi was when I called to ask. Thanks for the 'D' smucks!

* Maps of the world and globes. Globes are balls. Maps show either a square Earth or a sort of double bubble, like the 'binocular shot' in movies. Now WHY do our kids stink at World Geography?

* M&Ms. Totally useless. By the time you shell them and throw away the poop inside your left with nothing. USELESS I say!

* People who say "Someday your ship will come in". Really? I've been at the train station for hours every day and guess what? NO FREAKING SHIP!

* "Mr. or Ms. Perfect". Can you deal with someone with ugly scars on their hands and thorn scratches on their head? And imagine how much you'd get corrected all the time. I'll settle for Ms. Okay.

* Same for Mr. or Ms. Right. Leaves me standing at the curb. I'm a Lefty!

I've got to go out and dance in the rain. Either I'll end up with Grace Kelly or in the Rubber Ramada, right Gene?

The husband says "I hate to disappoint you, but I want a wife 30 years younget than me". The fairy waves her wand and "POOF!" the man is 93.

The moral is ungrateful ba$tard$ of husbands should remember fairys are female!

************THE LITTLE BIRD************

A little bird was having it rough. The bigger birds were getting the juicy worms and bugs or stealing them from him and he just knew he would die on the trip South. So he thought on it and came up with a billiant plan.

Seeing as all the birds flew South a little early he would stay behind, dining on all the fine things he was missing. Thus he could build himself up and avoid having to compete on the way to the Southern nesting grounds and hopefully arrive in a condition to take and defend what was his.

So he carried out this plan and watched all the other birds fly off. He ate the fattest food, rested in the best nests and never had to face muddy water after the other bigger birds stirred it up. Life was grand and he put on weight and got stronger. He lived the high life.

But he failed to note the weather and soon felt the first chill breezes and saw snowflakes. So he started off South and soon found the storms overtaking him. He kept flying faster but he had put on a few ounces and was tiring. Then the snow, sleet and icy rain took their toll and his wings started icing up. Soon he was flying too low.

He crashed into a dairy farm stock pen and thought "Woe to me! I'm either going to freeze or a cow will step on me and crush me or drown me in the muddy mush". As he lay there awaiting death a cow walked right over him and took a big poop right on top of him!

"Oh great! Just when I thought life could get no worse THIS happens!" the little bird thought. He wormed and wiggled around to get comfortable in his death pile and bemoaned his crappy fate.

But he did not realize that cow-pies have this chemical reaction in that they get hot and dry quickly once 'dropped'. Soon he noticed he was comfortable, his feathers were drying and he pecked a breathing hole.

As he looked out the hole he saw that the snow and sleet had stopped, the skys were clearing and he could soon break loose from his haven and continue his journey.

Realizing this he broke out into a song of joy. The farm cat heard him, dug him out and ate him.

The Three Morals?

1) Everyone that poops on you isn't necessarily out to get you specificly.

2) Everyone who digs you out of the poop is not doing it in your best interest.

3) If your happy, warm and content in a big pile of poop DON'T SING ABOUT IT!