When I first recieved the diagnosis of being bipolar one of the main issues my doctor worked with me on was trying to indentify, is there an actual reason for being anger and frazzled. When an issue came up that I became upset about ask myself, "can I change it,?" Accepting life on lifes terms was what it all came down to. Right now I am feeling frighted, my thoughts are all over the place, I actually feel like I am becoming a bit out of control and I do not know where to begin to stop it. Right now I am at a safe place, at home with my mother and boyfriend, I'd never make it out of the house even if it became a viable thought, it isn't. Right now my brain is having its own war. I take my meds like I am suppose to, and doing whatever I can at this point to take care of myself. I feel like i am missing something and I just do not know what that thing is. I have be cycling awfully fast, anger, depressed, to feeling fantastic and I can take on the world. I am making myself awfully dizzy looking for the right direction to go. My personal life has been changing fast, can I change any of it no. My mother took a hard fall and has not been doing so well. I have a brother and sister that live within 10 miles of me and have not even bothered to call. Can I change that no. Do I wish I could change it, Yes. My mother has beome like dealing with a child and has been becoming worse as time passes. I have known this for years, have I told my brother and sister, yes. It goes right over thier head, or they think I have no idea of what I am talking about. Please do not get me wrong, I love my mother. I am just feeling very much alone with all of this. Any advice would be greatly appreicated. Any prays would also be appreciated. |
