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05/03/2012 05:59 PM

Serenity is Different Than Absence of Agony/Pain

bfly
bfly  
Posts: 4078
VIP Member

I already mentioned in a different post about my answer to “how I find serenity”… I said, “I don't know serenity unless I'm high/drunk… Altered.” My therapist helped me understand how skewed and inaccurate my thinking is. He said that just because I know the absence of pain/agony does equate to serenity- medically or otherwise. That was a pretty potent awareness today… I'm numbing… when I am high- I don't feel the pain (internal or external)… that's a sense peace that I may “manufacture” on my own… it feels peaceful because I DON'T feel.

I just found that really meaningful- I believe in the romantic notion of the high… I know… I really need this recovery in AA, I need my medications correct, I need to deal with all the dark crap inside me eating me alive… I have a lot of work to do- but I really feel willing now. That's a really good start I hear… I really don't want to die and I know that's what's coming if I keep messing up with pills and alcohol… I'm ready. Thanks for listening! Peaceful recovery to all!

Picture is My "Serenity Spot" back in Bandera, TX... was usually high- but it brings me serenity to see and remember that place I'd crawl under barbed wire to get to- solitude was wonderful there...

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05/04/2012 06:33 AM
Colleenj
Colleenj  
Posts: 2152
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There is a line in the Big Book, I don't recall what page, but it talks about "being beat into a state of reasonableness." I had to take a beating from alcohol before I became reasonable and wanted help.

As for serenity, I'll be honest; I did not learn about serenity in AA, it was in Alanon that I found it. For me, serenity means being able to keep it together and be calm no matter what kind of hell is going on in my life.

Once again, my $.02 from a penniless woman.


05/04/2012 06:57 AM
bfly
bfly  
Posts: 4078
VIP Member

Thanks for the reply. And you are only penniless because of the abundance a quarters you have- sounds like you traded them all in to me!

05/05/2012 03:02 PM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42705
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I'm an Advocate

I do think there is a difference between absence of pain and serenity. I can feel no pain, yet feel empty or lonely inside. Serenity is a state of mind in which I feel at peace with others, with God and with myself--accepting what I cannot change and feeling calm in working on things I can. Just like Colleen, it's there even in the midst of things going wrong. There is a lot of wisdom in the Serenity Prayer.

05/05/2012 03:48 PM
bfly
bfly  
Posts: 4078
VIP Member

Thanks ladies - for your responses. I'm grateful for the Wisdom sent my way! Hope those ten weeks go by fast for you Miss Hildy... Vacation will be lovely!

05/05/2012 05:38 PM
Bangbang
Bangbang  
Posts: 7140
Group Leader

I have found serenity by working the steps in AA. You eventually have whats called a spiritual expereince and become calm. It takes alot to shake me up today.
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