MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
02/03/2012 09:23 AM

How do you start sobriety or moderation??

skeptical
skeptical  
Posts: 1130
Senior Member

I cannot seem to make it more than a couple of days before I give in to the craving for a drink (or four). My husband doesn't like me drinking during the week on work nights, but he knows he cannot stop me, so he doesn't really say anything about it. I know alot of people might say go to a meeting or something like that, but in the past that never stopped me from going to the liquor store on my way home from the meeting. Terrible, I know, but I just haven't been ready to stop yet. Some nights I am able to practice moderation, but I have a really really hard time abstaining if other people are drinking.

I don't know.... I am only stewing about this because it is Friday so my husband will want to come home tonight and have some drinks, so it will inevitably be another drinking night for me. The Super Bowl party on Sunday will involve drinking too. It is everywhere, and I am too weak to turn my back on it.

Reply

02/03/2012 10:06 AM
sarahtroy
sarahtroy  
Posts: 14315
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Dear skeptical,

I wish I could give you an easy answer.

But I don't have any personal experience with being able to drink in moderation without the obsession for alcohol in the back of my mind.

As far as how to start sobriety, for me the answers were simple, but definitely not easy.

I started sobriety by not drinking one minute, then one hour, then one day at a time. Never once looking beyond the day I was living in.

I kept going to AA meetings (even if I drank afterwards). For me, the goal of one AA meeting was not for AA to cure me of drinking. Rather, the goal of any single AA meeting I still go to is to provide fellowship to fellow alcoholics who are suffering. The point of the AA fellowship is to belong to something greater than yourself that can help you. The point is to meet and learn from fellow alcoholics who have gone through what you are going through and remained sober. The way I see it, you have won half the battle if you are willing to attend and participate in meetings regularly.

Your problem of not being able to refrain from drinking around other people who are drinking is common.

Perhaps you will attend at least one AA meeting this weekend?

Keep on posting. I can see your growth.


02/03/2012 11:18 AM
bfly
bfly  
Posts: 4078
VIP Member

Thank you for your post. I dream of bein able to drink in "moderation"... But that word doesn't seem to fit into my usable vocabulary. I have one drop and there I go again... And generally I keep going in scary, dangerous binge fashion usually until I have a bad consequence and decide to "quit" again... That pattern has plagued me since my youth... I'm actually starting to buy the fact that I just can't do moderation... Like abstinence is the only option that I can survive with. It's a constant struggle, but I hear it doesn't hav to be... Im on day ten sober "this time"... I empathize with your struggles and wish you success in this difficult battle. You are not alone. I'm hoping I make it through this weekend as well... I wish the same for you.

02/03/2012 02:01 PM
Bangbang
Bangbang  
Posts: 7163
Group Leader

I understand what you are going through. You obiously hve not hit botoom yet>No serious problems ..like drunk driving..and you said it yourself...You are not ready to quit. You have to have the desire to quit to get sober. Moderation is not going to work for you. I tried controlled drinking for 35 years. It does not work if you are a reaL ALCOHOLIC.

02/03/2012 03:55 PM
bfly
bfly  
Posts: 4078
VIP Member

Bangbang... I sooo respect your input, but the " bottom" thing... It feels like I've hit a hundred of those and the threat and remembrance of those work for a while, but then I think I can do the moderation thing again...not "winning" lol! Moderation is still like a steak dangling in front of a pit bull... I always eat it if I can reach it... And just collect more consequences! Serious debilitating scary should be able to learn from consequences! I hate this disease!

02/03/2012 06:27 PM
Bangbang
Bangbang  
Posts: 7163
Group Leader

I know what you mean....I remember fighting with my thoughts of drinking when at parties. I just could not turn it down. I can do it today. However the last time I relapsed I went to a bar to see a daughter that I had not seen in 2 years. She was bartending and when I sat down at the bar she uncapped a beer and set it in front of me. I did not even think about it. I drank it and by the time it was 3am I had drank 2 quarts of beer and a quart of gin. I was of and rolling for another 13 years of heavy drinking every day. It almost killed me. I had to make a decision....drink or die. Would you believe that it was ahard decision but I chose to quit. That was about 5 1/2 years ago but I had already done the damage to mt heart that can not be fixed. I have a pacemaker now that keeps me alive.
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved