Bipolars dealing with Alcoholism Group

Hi ! I've been gone from the site for a while, but I'm back. Staying sober has been a challenge. At best I've only managed total sobriety for a few days at a time, but I do keep trying over and over again to get it right once and for all. I have hope for myself, but my family not so much. They feel so disappointed every time I have any alcohol, and then angry if I totally lose control (about 2 to 3 times a month, if that). My husband has even discussed my admission into a rehab facility. I know I'm not that bad that I require admission. I've never had a DUI and I function normally. My drinking is sporadic and now less than ever. After some thinking about how I feel when I relapse, I now know that it's when I'm anxious or really sad. It wasn't until I really, really examined my feelings that I could see the relationship. At least now when I'm anxious, I know to take an Ativan and go for a walk, take a nap or read until the feeling passes. I'm not too sure what to do when I feel sad. Truly, it's more a melancholic sort of feeling that overtakes me. My pDoc knows I have a problem with alcohol. I finally told her during my last visit. She suggested AA and I went, but I don't feel that I belong there. I did join an online support group for women, and that has had some positive influence. I do want to start a journal to really keep track of my moods and what triggers my craving for alcohol. Also, it's a record that I can share with my pDoc. Talk to you again soon.

Hello, Sunspyder and welcome back. Long term sobriety is not an easy achievement. The first time I tried to quit, I got off for about 9 weeks with a hospitalization and halfway house treatment only to go back to drinking for two more years. It was AA that saved my life and I have been continuously sober for 26 years since going to meetings. I understand that it seems AA is not for you, but there are other kinds of support groups you could seek out and join and I highly recommend that you do. Having that face to face support, that accountability really helps with the effort to stop drinking. I would check with your pdoc and local hospitals who might know of non-AA support groups. You could also try checking with the National Council on Alcoholism to see if they know of any non-AA groups in your area: http://www.ncadd.org/

As far as going into a rehab facility, you shouldn't write that off. You say that you are unable to string together no more than a couple days of sobriety. That indicates, to me, a complete inability to do this without some real intervention. I know that had I not gone into the hospital the first time I tried, I would not have been able to have stopped. I couldn't put together any length of time of sobriety either. The only reason why I went back to drinking is because I refused to get into a support program of some sort and stayed around the same drinking buddies. If I had gone to AA afterward, or some sort of support group, I am convinced I would have saved myself two more years of misery. I just think you should consider it and not dismiss it. It would give you a chance to be in a safe place where alcohol would not be available and the right kind of support you really need would begin.

You also have this place for online support, which can be another aid to help you get sober and stay sober. It is more than possible for you to do this, but you need help to do it and you are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. We will do all we can to help support you as you try to gain the upper ground. Remember, it is a one day at a time effort. Each day is a new beginning of not drinking. I still have to choose each day whether or not I will take a drink and each day I have chosen to not drink. I don't think about tomorrow when it comes to that. I just think about the 24 hours in front of me. It gets easier as times goes by, so have hope that your struggles won't always be like this.

Again, welcome back. I look forward to seeing you post more often.