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Only we can set standards for ourselves. No one is perfect. These two truths give us a third truth: We need to set our standards for ourselves very high, higher then we are likely to achieve. Why? Won't that just make us depressed all the time? Well, that is possible, especially if you truly believe that you should be perfect, and anything less is failure. That would be something to work on in therapy. My point is - we are not going to be any better then we require of ourselves. If we let ourselves curse and bad mouth others (especially loved ones), expect and allow (which is different from self-forgiveness) over-reaction, lack of emotional control, and general bad behavior, we are doomed to repeating these things over and over and over as each change in mood drags us around. Then we are always going to be stuck living with both lack of self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness, as well as living with the consequences. Set your standards high - with honest acceptance that it will take a while to get good at this and with faith in the truth that you will not (just like everyone else in world) ever be perfect. As the saying goes "Shoot for the moon, when you miss you will fall amoung the stars". Clover --- Remember that what you say will have an effect on others! |
