Bipolar Type II Support Group

I created a way to manage my daughter's desire for everything in the store when she was about 6 years old. We started saying "if you still want it in a week, then you can have it", for things that seemed actually appropriate and we could afford. If we knew we would say no in a week's time too, then we would say no right away. She usually forgot all about most things, the things she remembered and we bought a week later were good purchases that she enjoyed for a long time.

The reason I am sharing this with you is - I have found that this works on my hypomanic spending sprees too. Even though my hypo may last more then a week the other stratagies I have in place keep things under control. When I want something(s) that are expensive, unusual, or impulsive, I say to myself "if you still want it in a week then you may buy it". And then I ask my husband - not for permission, like a child - but because he and I are financially responsible to each other. "can we afford it, Do you think it is a good idea?" etc.

I am finding that the Lamictal is making this much easier.

Thank you for sharing this. Spending is one of my worst manic triggers. I have found myself asking my husband for permission to buy things...Unfortunately, I think he may see his permission as a way of solidifying his support for me, when in reality it is counteracting the type of support I need. I too am on lamictal and have found that it is the best for me yet...I am taking effexor with it. I don't know if it is the holidays or if it is time for a change...every few years it seems that I need to change meds because they simply stop working....I will have to try my best to remember to wait a week the next time that I want something... today I opted to stop at Walgreens instead of Walmart because I was thinking of needing a new coat because it is so cold and my coat is from two years ago...But the fact is that my coat still works for now...So I didn't go.

Yay for you! What a great idea - deciding to go to a safer store! Bravo!

My husband is a little co-enabling too. But he means well and is still a great back-up to my 'wait a week' trick. Have you asked your husband how he feels about 'giving permission?

I actually was talking to him about your idea this morning and I brought up the fact that I do ask him for permission alot and that he gives in. He didn't actually say anything about how he feels. I have done it for a long time, but over the last few years he has been in charge of the money and I think he just looked at is as I was asking if there was money for it. We have a lot of work to do with our communication. We always make these plans to focus on talking to each other and the rest of life seems to get in the way.

Knowing that the money is there is sort of the bottom line.

We were having communication issues and time to talk trouble, too.

About 2 years ago I thought of this, and it works like charm. When we need to talk - over important issues good, bad, happy, or sad and/or when we just want to take some time off together; we go for a drive. I live in Maryland and we love to just drive around Pennsylvania; it is just us, nothing to do but chat, eat lunch out (sometimes dinner too), and try to get lost (on purpose, but we never have).

I'm so happy to hear that Lamictal helps with the compulsive spending... I just started taking it one week ago and I am hoping it helps... also that it will help with my strong impulses to go out and get kind of crazy... not good when you are in the middle of a dissolving marriage with two little kids... it's just really hard to resist the "fun" when things are so miserable at home... I'm trying very hard to hang in there.

Wow, I know this thread is almost a year old, but what a great thread. I could really use that tip about waiting a week because I am impulsive and when I'm manic/hypomanic it's even worse. I think I really am going to start using that just for myself since I have a limited income as it is!

Great tip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do that sometimes, but making a routine of it would be a really great idea..and since I am in one of those sprees now, I'll go ahead and start that

I'm not entirely sure how I finally came to get my spending under control but it's def mind control. I think it's partly because I now know what to look for as well. I know when I'm entering a hypomanic spending phase. Anyway I ask myself one very simple question "Do you really NEED this or is this just something you WANT". I usually know the answer right away. If I find myself waffling then I force myself to sleep on it and then ask myself the same question the next day. If it ends up falling into the category of there is good reason for it then I will bounce it off my wife for concurrence.

It takes will power but this has been working really well for me for several months now.

Mark

I've been in the situation far too many times where I'm left without any money at the end of the month.

To prevent this from happening, I always set a minimum amount to keep in my bank account and never withdraw any more than that. I also keep a 6 month emergency fund.

This way, if I run into problems with spending due to mania I already know what I have in my bank account and can dip into the emergency fund if need be.

Having said that, I don't spend anything in my emergency fund unless it's absolutely necessary.