Bipolar Type II Support Group

I must have confused ya (I apologize if I did). I haven't been on Geodon before so I'm not sure how much I'd be prescribed given I get to that point with this clinic p-doc over the weekend. I hope this one doesn't go against the grain so to speak. I'm just going to explain to him what I said here.

On another note, I sure wish my p-doc was like yours. I just recently switched to her to, so I'm thinking: do I need to p-doc shop AGAIN? I'm tired of getting bad apples, ya know?

I know it may take many tries to get the right one, but it's frustrating as all hell!

Apparently my current one is pretty damn money hungry unfortunately.

That's the way my pdoc explained it to me (i.e. more stimulation during the day to distract someone from their voices or racing thoughts). Many people also experience hypnogogic hallucinations. These are hallucinations (i.e. voices other than your own) that occur at night just when you are about to fall asleep. They aren't lumped together with "standard" auditory hallucinations since they are considered to be a normal experience.

Post edited by: neondreams, at: 03/13/2009 17:15

Can I ever relate to your frustration at finding a good pdoc! I've been in the mental health system for the past 18 year and during all that time, I've only found 2 who I thought were competent and understanding. The rest were full of themselves or didn't care one way or the other about my treatment. That could certainly be said of my last pdoc. He never listened to me whenever I told him I was rapid cycling or manic. He would just tell me to come back in 3 months when the same scenario repeated itself. I saw him for 1.5 years and during that entire time, he only increased my meds once. He also never explained to me what mania or hypomania was or what I should do in the event of an emergency. In my opinion, he was one of the worst pdocs I've ever had. The worst I've had though was a pdoc who was recommended to me after I was discharged from IP in 2006. The nurse told me that she was the best in the city, but if truth be told, she was far from it. She never read my discharge paperwork to understand my diagnosis let alone the fact that I was newly diagnosed with bipolar and didn't know the first thing about it. Even worse was the fact that after seeing her for 3 months, she gave me the option of whether or not I wanted to continue taking meds even though she knew I had bipolar. Needless to say, I quickly ran in the other direction and never looked back. Unfortunately, my new pdoc will be either retiring or reducing his practice in 2012. When that happens, I'm going to be severely depressed because he's the best pdoc I've ever had. And how lucky am I to have a pdoc who specializes in the type of bipolar (atypical) that I'm diagnosed with?

And it's interesting what people hear.

For me, the voices don't tell me what to do, nor call out my name, they're just loud distracting mumbles that I can't totally make out.

It's like a conversation of mumbles if I'm making sense.

And coupled with racing thoughts it's just so irritating! When the voices are around, I almost want to tell them to shut the F--k up!

I know how you feel. My voices command me, argue with each other, critize me, try to convince me that I'm in h*ll and have died in an auto accident and speak of death/dying. It's awful. They're so loud and powerful, I can't stand it most of the time. The only good voices I've heard are a voice named Jill who loved 80s music like I did. Sometimes she would hum along to the music and it sounded so beautiful and in tune that it would bring me to tears. She also had a very calm, relaxing voice which was a comfort to me. She would always tell me how she came to protect me from my angry, bad voices and how everything would be okay. I've also heard famous radio DJs. 2 of them I really enjoyed because I loved listening to them on the radio. I loved how they would keep me company right before I went to bed when I was IP in 2006. They would also bring my friends to say goodnight to me and would tell jokes to make me laugh. Strange I know, but such are hallucinations. Now that I think about it, there was another good voice I heard, but she didn't have a name. I heard her when I was IP in 2006. She told me it was safe to eat the hospital food which was the best thing I could have been told since I didn't eat for 2.5 weeks prior due to my manic state.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much, but I just hate going from doctor to doctor with ANY doctor. I am glad you understand though.

I don't want to come off as there must be something wrong with me if I can't work with any p-doc for a long period of time, ya know?

But that's just me thinking too much into things.

As for your current one, at least you have some time to find a replacement, but I'm sure it'll be upsetting once that goes into effect b/c you both have established a good professional relationship.

We have a wonderful professional relationship. When/if he retires or reduces his practice, there is another pdoc I could go to -- although I don't know if he will still be working in the field by that time. However, I hope he is because he was my second choice for a new pdoc. The only reason I didn't stick with him was because my current pdoc's office is located closer to my home. As far as you and pdocs are concerned, I can understand that too. Sometimes it seems like we're riding a neverending merry-go-round in search of a decent (notice I did not say perfect ) pdoc.