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08/04/2009 09:39 PM

new to group and would like support and advice!

Posts: 6
New Member

hi everyone, i'm new to this type of support and am used to a more traditional type of support system. tonight i had a huge breakdown and usually tend to feel completely not worthy. after being so needy and moody i realize how much i interupt others lives and how difficult it must be for them... my thougts swirl down into thinking that they don't deserve to deal with me and how much I have no self worth. i've suffered from depression and major depression episodes throughout my life. i can break through some of these times with a lot of focus and a lot of therapy and other times i feel as though i'm on top of the world. i take medication for depression (40mg Celexa) and yesterday stopped taking Trileptal (300mg) down from 600 a week ago because it makes me incredibly tired.

i'm constantly worried that I'm not going to be accepted and a lot of times, i create this insecurity in my mind. That is just the surface, of course as with many others. On top of it, I'm losing my father to vascualr dementia and after a visit with him over the weekend my emotions were on high. i hope that i'll find some good information with this group and look forward to reading how everyone helps themself get through tough spots.


08/05/2009 03:39 AM
Posts: 340

mayalb, welcome to the group. This is a great group with good people in it. I'm sure you will find it helpful. I'm sorry your family is going through such a hard time right now. Remember that it makes everyone feel sad/angry to see their father suffer with dementia.

I was also diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder for many years, and went through numerous long episodes.

When I was finally started on a mood stabilizer, my life did just that--stabilized, and the lifelong sadness began to lift. Depression is hard to control even with mood stabilizers, but it certainly helps the anxiety and keeps me from falling into the deep pit.

I never took Trileptal. I'm very sorry it didn't work for you. You will find that most of us have some trials on meds that didn't work, or had too many negative side effects, etc. And that some of us work great on some meds that make others worse.


08/05/2009 08:01 AM
Posts: 14845
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hey May welcome to the group, you have found a wonderful site with many great new friends to meet. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, there is nothing worse than watching parents or even any family member or close friend die that way. I agree with the Miss Hildy, you cannot beat yourself up anymore. Get out more to try to avoid the depression, it usually helps for me. I was in a huge depressive state and went on Lithium added to my other meds and have felt 110% since. I am finally stable. I just wanted to tell you that so you know that after alot of trial and error and time and patience there is hope, it is possible to have your life back. You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay busy and keep your head up, we are here for you anytime you need to vent. Big Hugs Stacey Smile

Post edited by: MissStacey, at: 08/05/2009 08:02 AM

08/05/2009 09:01 AM
Posts: 6
New Member

Thank you everyone for your notes of encouragement. I do try to stay positive but notice that doing so is an extremely big challenge and I need to take it day by day and situation by situation.

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