Bipolar Type II Support Group

First off, I'd like to thank everyone that participates here. It's really nice to have a place to feel normal.

I have a long personal story, and I am a talker, but it's very late right now, and I do have specific newbie concerns that I'd like to pose to the group.

I have struggled with my behaviors since I was 12. I have recognized that they were part of a long term problem, instead of several events since I was about 20. I have been hiding my behavioral health history of depression and two suicide attempts for the last ten years to allow myself to serve in the military. I finally went in to try to get diagnosed and treated for what I thought to be longstanding ADHD. In order to reach a diagnosis, they wanted the full psychological workup. In the mean time, I was prescribed zoloft to help with an inability to relax following my last deployment. The docs determined after the tests that I was bipolar. They explained that what I saw as ADHD was a combination of mania and me using so much energy to control my mood that I had a hard time concentrating. I was stable at the time, (I think), on zoloft, so they've left me alone on meds. I was happy to have a name for my challenges. Almost two years later, the military has realized what they diagnosed me with, and I'm in the process of being medically retired. I fought it, and asked for a second opinion on the diagnosis. Final answer is bipolar II, and medical retirement.

I'm still on the zoloft. I go to see my psychiatrist tomorrow. I'm worried that even though I think I'm stable on it, she'll pull me off in concerns about rapid cycling. I am very worried about lithium. I still have an opportunity to perform meaningful well compensated work for the army as a civilian, but lithium could kill that possibility. I'm also worried about what it will do to me, side effects wise. Part of me looks in the mirror and says, "Self, you've survived 30 years without meds. Might it be better to continue keeping on without all the uncertainty and risk meds seem to bring?"

Thanks everyone, in advance, for the great community here.

Joel

I'm sorry to hear about your military discharge. Isn't it amazing how long it takes for the paperwork is in order for someone to notice? I'm glad you will be able to work with the military as a civilian, though.

It's good the zoloft is working. If it is, s/he will probably keep you on it. Tell about your fears concerning lithium. There are many other meds you can take other than that one. Waiting for an appointment like that causes a lot of anxiety - at least for me it did. You never know what's going to happen.

Just remember that you have a say-so in what you take and you'll be working as a team together. If you have a good pdoc, then s/he will listen to your wants and needs. I think we've all been there and have waffled on whether to take the meds or not. You have to do what's right for you. Personally, I find I feel much better on meds and I feel stable because of them. Keep us posted what your pdoc says.

I'm surprised they just have you on an antidepressant. Without a mood stabilizer, you can become hypo-manic. I'm happy that it's working though. I personally feel so much better on medications. It's a pain to take them, but they really do help to stabilize you. It's your decision. I'm sorry about your medical retirement. That must be hard to take. You will get better though. My psychiatrist listens to me and we work together. I hope yours does also. Feel free to ask any questions or post all you want. Welcome to the group Joel, You will make lots of friends and get the support you need.

I am sorry to hear about your retirement from the military but I am happy to hear that you are going to go on and do great things as a civilian. I went off my medications for two years and although I could do it I am now back on medications. It is alot easier with the medications and I still feel uneasy about taking them. They are kind of a pain but you will feel a definite difference and maybe feel some relief. Right now I am on four medications. I am on Lamictol, seroquel, and wellbutrin. The combo seems to be working for me so far. Good luck and if you need anything feel free to PM.

Lamictal( a mood stablizer ) is a great drug to be on. Good results. Welcome! C