Bipolar Type II Support Group

Hi, my name is Will. I was diagnosed with BP type 2 about a year ago after going through a lot of other doctors that said I was just an anxious person. After finding a proper med regime I am finally starting to figure things out and grow as a person. The one thing I still struggle with is the fear of rejection and being alone. I have sort of grown up feeling like this my whole life and it's become a self-fufilling propecy. Since I have figured out my good med regime I have been able to make more friends and thus a bigger support network. Dating however, is still a big struggle. If I make the slightest connection with someone I start getting anxious and start to become a little needy. Does anyone out there feel that way. I just don't want to feel alone and I just want that special someone in my life. In variably it seems to scare people away but I'm not completely sure since they never seem to actually communicate what was going on. I typically get the silent treatment and I'm left feeling like what did I do wrong. I beat myself up for this lose and it can take me weeks to get over. Sometimes there are triggers that bring up past "hurts" and it's hard to get rid of those "racing thoughts" once they start up, even if it's from a past dating person from a year ago. Does anyone get that too out there. I'm glad I have found this site and I hope to learn about everyone and what they are going through. I would like some support and understand, as well as showing that to others in our community. Thanks to whom ever reads this.

Will

Welcome to the group Will! I am glad you found us. I can relate to what you are sharing with us.It is good that your meds. are beginning to work that is half the battle for me. It makes a difference because if my meds are not working my brain distorts my feelings and perceptions, and it becomes very difficult to process the many facets of relationships. Now that I know it, it has become easier to fight fears of abandonment and rejection. So All I can say it's keep going it will get better, and have clear in your mind that none of it is your fault. Unfortunately this illness affects all aspects of our lives. Keep posting we are here for you.

Monica

Hi Will. Welcome to the group. You will find a lot of support and caring people here. It sounds like you have accepted your diagnosis well and have gotten on a med regime that works for you. That's such a huge part of dealing with BP, and I think it is fantastic that you have gotten there. It sounds like you are struggling with the dating situation and being scared that you will never find "the right one." I'm not sure how old you are, but I would think that you are possibly trying a little too hard. It should happen naturally, even though that's hard when you feel the fear of being rejected. It takes patience and is not something that should involve pressure on either person's part. When the time is right it will happen.

Thank you for the kind comments. It seems I have found others from my home planet of bipolara, sector 2, haha.

Thank you for the kind comments. It seems I have found others from my home planet of bipolara, sector 2, haha.

I know I sometimes try to make/force things to happen but my impulsiveness and hypomanic tendencies tend to over ride my logic. When I get that way it's the best feeling in the world and I have a hard time stopping it. When I don't hear back from that person in a day or two I start to panic because I want to feel that rush of pleasure again and the thought of losing that scares me. So it seems invariably I come across as too needy and scare that person away but I am only guessing at what they are thinking. I have tried to get them to communicate what they are thinking/feeling but it seems most people just want to give you the silent treatment and fall of the face of the earth. Le sigh

I think that is exactly what's happening. If you can, try and keep a distance and let the girls pursue you. If you can play it cool, they will probably come to you... at least that's the way I was when I was younger. If a guy pursued me and I perceived it to be too much, I would fall off the face of the earth too. Just a girl's perspective... take it as you wish. Just think about it...

I think the longer you have been on your meds and are stable the easier relationships will be for you. A therapist can help with issues of abandonment and fears of losing someone. There may be things in your past that contribute to these feelings along with the illness intensifying them. I am glad you are making friends and finding them to be supportive and caring. As said above, the right relationship will come along in it's time. During the wait, keep on working on yourself so you will be the best you you can be and attract someone who also the best they can be. It will happen.

Nice to meet you Will. I think our bp affects us in different ways. For me, I am good with close relationships, but tend to be standoffish to acquaintences and it takes me a long time to call someone a 'friend'. Weird huh! You've made a lot of progress so don't be so hard on yourself. Why not enjoy doing fun things with your friends and just date casually for awhile. Wanting to find your soul mate might be making you project qualities on some of these past girls that weren't even there.

heather