Bipolar Type II Support Group

Hello everybody. I've very recently been diagnosed with bipolar II, but I am having a hard time accepting it. I keep thinking that maybe I am just being a baby and this is the easy way out. All my life, I have had rambling thoughts and difficulty focusing, but I made it through school and college while getting good grades. I was always popular and good at sports, but never felt happy inside. In college, I was so lost that I changed majors numerous times, but just picked the major where I could finish the quickest. After college, I did an internship, then floated around in crappy jobs, and this is where I am now. I seriously have NO focus. I become interested in things for a few days, then leave it. This is how it has been my whole life. I also have had suicidal thoughts most of my life, but have had periods where I felt "normal." In college, I would sometimes sleep for days, and tie a tie around my neck just to see what it would feel like. Besides this, there would be times where I loved life thought it was great. My mom made me go see a psychologist who said I may be bipolar II, then I saw a psychiatrist who agreed. My feeling is that maybe I am acting this way because I don't have a focus in life, thus causing all of these thoughts and problems. I think that maybe I would be cured if I were to land a job I enjoyed somewhere I would like to live, particularly the city. I go to Chicago on the weekends often, and I feel better there. Could environmental factors be misdiagnosed as bipolar II? I keep telling myself moving somewhere I liked would cure me.

Also, I just recently began taking lithium. Call me vain, but the only things I am worried about is gaining a ton of weight and losing my hair. Anyone care to share their experiences with lithium?

Besides this rambling, I guess I could share a little about me. I'm a 24 year old male musician who lives just outside of Detroit. I am very interested in music, learning, culture, design, fashion, outdoors, and a wide array of other random things!

My main concern is, how do I really know if I am bipolar II and not just a confused person? Maybe that is just who I am and I need to learn to live with how I am, and stop trying to use this as a scapegoat.

Sorry for my huge first post rambling...

Hi I am Stacey I am 33 and a stay at home mom of two kidos right now.I take lithium and noticed some hair loss, but I find I am not hungry and don't eat or forget to eat. So try not to worry about side effects. As for the other questions I can attest to the fact without medication I wouldn't be here today! I am starting to feel more "normal" and in conrol with each passing day. You could be unfocused too, but maybe not being in control of you has made you unfocused?...Just a thought. Side note lived near detroit for 6 yrs In Livonia.

Hi and welcome!

I was diagnosed with "depression" in high school. I tapered off meds and out of therapy before heading to college. I hated the town I grew up in, so a figured heading to New York City for school would fix my life, which would fix my problems.

Thing is, my problems followed me. After I got to New York, I had the worst breakdown I've ever had. I've since recovered, and still live in the city. I love it here, and my life is so much better than it would have been if I'd stayed in my small town. So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you think you'll be happier in Chicago, move there! But it probably won't solve all your problems. That takes work and treatment.

And don't think this is your fault; you didn't ask to feel this way. I tend to feel like a hypochondriac because my illness is my emotions, but most people wouldn't be strong enough to withstand the swings we live with.

Welcome to the group. I hope you'll feel happier here. Don't ever worry about rambling posts...we are all guilty now and then. I'm a repeat offender.

Welcome, Duder!

I know it can be hard, accepting that you have bipolar; it's a lousy condition to have! The thing is, it's very treatable, with medications to correct the chemical imbalances, in addition to behavioral or talk therapy. Also, what you said about feeling suicidal sometimes, and feeling good other times, sounds very familiar. I used to think I was depressed, then better, then depressed, etc...when all the time I had bipolar II. I had fleeting suicidal thoughts at times, too, and once I counted all my pills to see if I had "enough", but I wouldn't have done it, for which I am eternally grateful! Once I got on the right meds for me, a few years ago, I've been more happy and stable than at any other time in my life. When your brain chemistry is in balance, it's a whole new world! You can get mad, and sad, and even confused, situationally and appropriately, but your moods and emotions don't get out of control. You don't think about hurting yourself anymore. You can deal with life in a rational and constructive manner.

By the way, both the dangerous "necktie" thoughts and the idea that moving somewhere would make it better are very typical of bipolar depression and hypomania. Sorry, but you do sound as if you could be bipolar II, especially if two docs have said it. You could get a third opinion, but do give the lithium a chance and see if it helps you. It doesn't necessarily cause weight gain and hair loss, but if it helps and the side effects do happen there are other mood stabilizers you can try. I take Lamictal and Abilify and I haven't gotten fat, but everyone is affected differently.

See, now I've gone and written you a book! I'll shut up (for now), but please post again (no matter how long it is!) and let us know how the lithium is working. See ya - Jeni

Welcome to the group,

I was diagnossed with severe depression at age 16 and bpII at 42. I still have a hard rime accepting it and have tried to justify my feeling and action to anything but BPII. I know today that after many tries to go off meds that I have the right diagnossis. This does'nt mean that I fully accept it especially when I'm feeling good. When I'm manic is the times I want to go off all my meds and I'm on top of the world this is where I have to be careful to notice that I am manic..lol a good indicatior for me is wanting off of all meds.

I have been semi stable for over 2 years now with a few bumps now and then. The nature of the beast BPII is that for me I rapid cycle and sometimes I need a little more meds that usual. I'm going through one of these cycles now but I think I'm through the worst of it.

I think all of struggle with acceptance at some time after diagnossed with BPII. After all its not something we want to be or asked for. It is what it is and we all have to do our best to hang in there and support each other the best we can. MDJ has been a great source of support for me and I hope you find the same.

Hi,

So I'm also new to the forum, and as always having a difficult time accepting my diagnosis... I think my major struggle has been that my family history with bipolar is the Bipolar I variety, and having never been fully manic I always thought I could control my feelings, that this was a lesser form (which in my mind meant controllable) of the illness and that some how it wasn't real. I realize a little better after reading this forum that the way my mind works (including thinking I would be better if I moved - or could be traveling constantly) is very similar to many people here and that my illness has probably had more power over me than I was once willing to admit. In my very humble opinion you'll have to accept this yourself, but I truly recommend trying to believe it and seeing if you do feel better (and that can take a long time).

I was on lithium once, and I experienced pretty major water retention, but not weight gain per say. It wasn't the right drug for me, so I've switched... but that's only my experience.

Take care

Thanks for all your replies. I appreciate other people sharing their stories. It is day 3 of only taking 300mg of lithium and I've been feeling foggy, using the restroom a lot, and last night my thoughts were racing and I had bizarre thoughts that Satan was possessing my mind. I also worked out lightly last night and I became real dizzy and felt like I was going to vomit. I don't know if I will be able to handle being on 900mg, but it is only day 3. For those who were once on lithium but switched, how did you tell lithium was not the right drug for you?

I took almost every med for Bipolar and Lithium ended up being my miracle med. I was stabilized on 300mg but wasn't at the therapeutic level so I had to go up to 900mg even though I felt perfectly fine. Are you drinking enough water with it? That is very important since it is just like it's name says salty so you can dehydrate easily. The great thing about Lithium is it's a mood stab, anti dep and anti psychotic so once you are able to get to the higher dose those feelings will go away. I hope the yucky feelings pass and you are able to continue it, sometimes starting meds people have a hard time adjusting but if after another week or two it's unbearable let your pdoc know exactly how it's making you feel and they can decide where to go from there with you. Good luck! Hugs, Stacey