Anyone out there ever get ECT?

Any anecdotes out there? I'd love to compare notes. It's been just over 3.5 years since my last treatment, and I'm still getting memories back. Sometimes it is agonizingly painful. Sometimes it makes me laugh.

What it mostly did to me was remove my desire to do my art. I can't get in my art room and work on anything. i'm just blank.

I use a webstie call http://www.braingle.com/ and go through the memory challenges and skill building for memory loss to work on it on my own but i don't know of any other treatment.

I still feel a great deal of anguish about the vast lost segments of my life. Some of it is stuff that I know factually (that was filled in by others telling me), but simply cannot remember. I still can't remember my wedding. I go through and look at the photo album, and it's like looking at someone else's photos. I've had to hear that people I was close to are dead, and I don't even remember it.

My paternal grandmother died a week ago, which is what I suppose brought all this to the surface. You get together with family you don't otherwise see for years, and they talk about things you did as a child, things you said, and you just don't remember. There's just this huge empty space in your head.

And there's no one to understand. They just DON'T FUCKING GET IT!!! Not even my husband really gets it, and he was right beside me every day of that horrible time.

I feel so violated.