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11/26/2009 01:10 AM

BP II, College Freshman and Lonely

Posts: 4
New Member


I was diagnosed with BP II two years ago after a terrible year of wrong diagnoses and social isolation my junior year of high scool. Since being properly diagnosed and medicated I've returned to my old self--confident, high achieving, and social.

My senior year was great compared to my junior year. I had an extensive support system, amazing friends and a caring and competent therapist who really helped me sort of the tramas of my pre-diagnosis. I felt so much better that I didn't even think about my bipolar and I began to believe that I would never have another episode again in my life.

Then came college. I moved from a sunny and beautiful town in the Southwest to New York where the weather is much darker and the people are less friendly. Furthermore I've been working long hours, not getting nearly enough sleep and virtually no exercise (part of my treatment back home was an early morning two-mile jog).

I have no support network here. I've had a few episodes of hypomania (one of which I was briefly hospitalized for) and I've now slipped into a moderate depression. I take a mild anti-depressant which has killed my appetite and made it hard to concentrate.

What further complicates things is that I've been trying very, very hard to hide all of this from everyone. My roommate thinks the several medicines (Lamictal, Klonopin, and Celexa) are for a sleep disorder, and when I get hypomanic I tell people it's because I drank too much coffee during the day.

I talk to my parents regularly but if they knew I was having this much trouble they'd probably want me to take the semester off. I also talk to my very supportive boyfriend everyday though, since I've become depressed, I've been difficult to talk to. I often cry on the phone and cause him great concern.

This is why I need online support. Since I was first stabilzed I never thought of bipolar as a difficult and complex illness. I just took my pills, ran, spent hours in the sun and saw a therepist every now and then.

At this point I just REALLY need someone to talk to. Having this massive secret and having no one to look out for me makes me so lonely and scared sometimes.

Sorry this was so long, I just really need to get it all out there.

Post edited by: nyu13, at: 11/27/2009 03:01 AM


11/26/2009 06:47 AM
Posts: 903
Senior Member

Firstly a big HELLO! Smile

And a beeeeeeeeeg hug.

You wont be alone here. Is it not possible to join a gym? Or get a indoor jogger or something like that.

I don`t know the meds, but is one of them a mood stabilizer? (Lamictal)

Fax your pdoc about your current state, sleep is important for me and if i do not get at least 6hrs i become very prone to depression, obsession and not being a happy chappy.

Anyway! Talk to us! Laughing

There is always someone floating around Wink


Post edited by: Tommy100, at: 11/26/2009 06:58 AM

12/10/2009 03:48 PM
Posts: 68


first off you are taking the right step for reaching out to help.

I have a very similar story, came to college undiagnosed and then was diagnosed with depression, i took my second semester off cause i wasnt getting better and eventually got diagnosed with bipolar and got stable.

when i got stable a key for me was excercise (I am a college athlete so i take excercise seriously.)

i came back this fall and at first it was great, had tennis fall ball was excercising as well by myself every morning (did sprints)

about 6 weeks ago i got the swine flu and it threw me off and since then i got out of my routine and everything.

oh i also moved from florida to Boston and the cold is awful and miserable for me to.

My suggestions for you.

talk to your doctor about whats going on,

Get back onto your excercise routine at school. No matter how hard it is do it. even if its just starting out again with stretching in the morning and some situps / pushups it will get your endorphins going and you will feel so much better, then work your self up to a run. once u get started u will want to do it again.

I also have a book with pages of inspirational quotes, suggestions for myself if this happens or that happens and how i can fix it.

get a routine on paper and do ur best to get back into it. use the winter break to get back into your routine and continue it no matter what happens.

also about hiding it at school. obviously its different for me since my good friends at school were the ones who helped me.

but find friends u can confide in at school.

dont be ashamed of it either if u get on well with your roommate that could be a place to start.

also if you need anyone to talk to pm me and i can give you my aim or whatever.

GL !!! you can do it

12/10/2009 04:11 PM
Posts: 52

Hello and welcome to the group. I know how you feel i didn't tell my family. You should see if there are any groups in your area that you can go to. if you need a friend to listen just ot you just pm me.

12/11/2009 06:28 PM
owutatangledwebPosts: 2771
Senior Member

Sorry you're going through this. The stress of starting college can often bring this on. I would think that there is a campus health center that would have a therapist or can you go to a school counselor to ask for resources? Also, try your local county health department for resources. Some counties have a mental health agency. I hope some of these tips will help you. Best Wishes!

12/13/2009 02:58 PM
Posts: 3311
Senior Member


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