Bipolar Type II Support Group

I had been abused physically and emotionally as a child. At times I feel like a bottomless pit with friends. I am really appreciative of my friends, but at times, no matter how good they are it's not enough and I don't feel good about myself. I guess it needs to come from within. Has anyone had issues or successes with this?

I remember one group therapy I was in I asked the Psychiatrist will I ever get better since my mom had postpartum with me, I was abused and I had BiPolar. He shrugged his shoulders and said I don't know. He wasn't being rude he was just being honest. I don't know either. Beth

Hi. I too was sexually and emotionally abused as a child. I was also very depressed as a child and I have this theory that if your depressed as your brain is growing that it is more likely that mental illness genes might be expressed. Not anything I've seen an expert say, just my own thoughts.

Frustrating as meds can be, I find them invaluable to taking back control and getting past the past. It is a painful process though.

leila1963 Thanks for responding. Yes I definitely need my medication. There are 2 anti-depressants in my BiPolar "Cocktail". For me I need a combination of therapy and medication, but I still fear that the damage has been done to my brain and it can be improved, but not brought back to "normal". I also just read an article in Psychology Today about the effects of Postpartum mothers on their babies brains and it was a bit depressing.Sometimes I think too much! Beth

I dont know if i was abused.. My mom almost died giving birth, it must have been very traumatic. I know she suffered from depression.

And was a pent up unhappy person.

There is a vague memory of lying in the passage with my mom over me and a bread knife in her right hand.

But i don`t know if it really happened.

What i do know is i can forget about people in my life very quickly, as if they were never there.

T

Tom: I hope that didn't happen to you with your mother and the knife.

To me you seem to be a very caring person and I would find it hard to believe that you would just forget a person that was close to you. On this site you are one of the first people to reach out to people that need a hug and I think that speaks volumes to the type of person you are.

Did you mean that you can forget people that aren't close to you or someone that is close? Why do you think that happens? Beth

Anyone that gives me pain.

I can forget people like that, too, but I tend to forget everyone after awhile. My childhood was that of your stereotypical drunken father, emotionally absent mother, incest, beatings, the-makings-of-a-serial-killer kind of life. I survived, but the scars run deep. I really don't hold out much hope that any combo of pills is going to "fix" the damage done to my developing brain, these things are hard-wired. I limp along the best I can, sailing in the seas of denial for protection from the harsh reality that was my "childhood". Somehow, though, I DO still carry a shred of hope that someday I'll be OK for an extended period of time. I just don't know how.

I don't forget people. If I feel for someone I feel for them and I can't disconnect those feelings even if I've been hurt by them. I don't know if that's good or bad or if it's just me? Yipeeskippee: Your last line of wanting to know how to be ok that's where I'm at. I know there isn't a pill for that and perhaps since it was years of abuse it is going to take time and a lot of work. I use to ask my therapist just tell me what to do and I will do it I just need to get better, but there is no magic formula.

Thanks everyone for sharing. I know how hard it is to look back on those times and I appreciate it. Beth

I suffered emotional and mental abuse til I left home. I agree that past abuse and mother's mental illness has affected my life. My mom (bp I) had a daughter before me who died of SIDS at 4 months. Then, a year later I came along and she wasn't yet over the grief. I was the spitting image of my dad and so when I was born, she just gave me to him. suffered a year of post natal depression and has resented me ever since. The terror of growing up with her rages and cruelty, then sudden shopping trips was not easy. I was always to blame and my brothers were the golden boys. She has always taken her anger and turmoil out on me, when I was young physically too. It's taking a lot of work to build up my self esteem and feeling worthwhile.

My heart goes out to all of you! I was abused by my first husband, so I have a taste of what it can do to you, but my parents did.t abuse me, just kind of ignored me, and even that was hurtful enough to mess up my self-esteem for years, but I feel great now! I have God in my life, lots of friends (seems being happy is attractive) a terrific husband, and I even like myself! So there is hope; just keep doing the work with your therapists and surround yourself with kind, supportive people. (like here! And support groups. And maybe even church.It did wonders for me.) Keep learning about what a wonderful person you are and that you never deserved to be treated like that. Never. Be kind to yourselves, jeni