|
I have been depressed for a week and recently developed suicidal thoughts. I dont have any intent to kill myself, but my thoughts (which I cannot control) are drifting towards me wanting to harm myself and have physical pain. When Im driving I think, 'I hope I get in a car crash' and things like that. I had these thoughts for two days before I thought of saying anything, but I told my husband and he made me realize how big of a deal it is. I called my therapist up right away (my psychiatrist is irresponsible and doesnt call me back, I switched doctors) and made me feel better. She made me verbally promise to not harm myself, and I knew if I didnt make that promise I would have hurt myself. I am off the Depakote (suicidal thoughts are a symptom) and only on Lexapro (which is an antidepressant but obviously doesnt work that well). I cannot be alone until further notice nor can I drive. These thoughts just stew in stay in my mind...I cant control them. Im still having them today but its a little better. This is the scariest thing I have ever been through. CJ Before you can conquer a beast you must make it beautiful. |
