Bipolar Type II Support Group

Post edited by: bphusband, at: 09/23/2009 02:23 PM

From one bphusband to another, I hope this may help you out some. I was surprised that you made the comment that you were aware of the consequences of infidelity and were really not interested in any of them- especially since you said that you love your wife beyond description. The two don't really fit. I think you just want your cake and eat it to. Who doesn't? LOL I have had to be real honest with my therapist and my pdoc about such issues. I have been lucky enough to find a wife who I can be totally honest with and we have discovered that married couples can be very creative. I will leave it at that. Good luck with your situation either way and welcome to the group. I hope you find some answers here. They may not be what you want to hear at times, but they are honest attempts at helping you with a solution- at least mine is.

Post edited by: bphusband, at: 09/23/2009 02:27 PM

My present pdoc hardly adjusts anything. He acts like he is scared to death that he will give me something to cause a manic episode so he moves irritatingly slow. Others have though. The obsessiveness- 'what you are calling distractions, I believe'- and compulsivity I discuss during therapy. Listen, I don't think there is anything wrong with my 'distractions' as long as I don't act on them and I try to work with them. If it starts becoming delusional, I think that is something that I would have to talk to my pdoc about considering another med adjustment and be firm about it. I feel for you, I have been delusional many times in the past and it got ugly for me. The problem was that I was in the mix so to speak and not even realizing it. That's the nature of the beast for me. Let your doc know where you are headed before you get there. My wife...she tries to help me catch myself before I fall. She has learned to read certain signs and has a 'care giver' type relationship with my therapist so that helps. I hope this helped some. I commend you for trying to get a handle on this before you hurt someone that you obviously love very much. I wish you the best!

I am sorry you are going through those feelings. I am married and could never imagine being with another man but thats just me I dont have that symptom that many many other BP people have. Its nothing to be ashamed of, its good you are talking to your pdoc about it and being honest so you can get the help you need before doing something you know you would regret for the rest of your life. Just keep the trust in yourself and stay faithful, it wont be worth it to act on these emotions that are just that emotions. You dont really want to be with another women its the disorder messing with you. Fight it to the end and you will live a nice long life with the women of your dreams. Maybe even go on dates with your wife again and get the romance back as if you just met. Could be fun! Best of luck, Stacey

I have had a lot of the same feelings you are having, and I have cheated several times in the past.i have remained faithful to my current husband since weve been together, for 3 years now. i love him more than anything, but it is difficult at times, when my mind begins to wonder. i would not put my marriage in jeopardy, no matter how bad the temptation got, but the thoughts are still there. i cant offer any advice on how to deal with it, because im just learning to deal with it myself, but at least you know youre not alone

Like someone said on here before, it's the thrill of the chase for me. I LOVE the chase, but don't because that's too dangerous for me and my relationship with my husband. The thing is, that's when I feel alive, when someone shows interest in me. Sad that I have to look to some random guy for a self-esteem boost, but sad as it is that's a fact. I guess it's because I feel so broken most of the time. I don't know that I would ever be able to stop myself from having some fun with it, but I know I can't take it too far. Too many lives would be forever shattered if I screwed this marriage up.

I think that the safest way to handle these feelings is to stop them before it escalates. What you are doing with switching coffee houses is good.

I have a rule that I am never alone with a member of the opposite sex. Last time I had a painter painting inside the house, it got ugly, so I don't allow it to have a chance to happen.

If you make a rule that you don't speak to these women more than necessary and maybe learn some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques for controlling your thoughts, it may be easier for you.