I am losing myself ...

She is on meds...her doc is till trying to find the right cocktail. For the first few weeks the meds she was taking were working awesome....oh my gosh....she was the best...I thought wow...the real person I know is there inside was actually shining through...but then...it started downhill again...the good mood wore off....the depression and anger started creeping back. The only thing different was that she was actually aware of it. The doc then decided to change some of the meds. It hasn't worked and the moods are getting stronger. The insults and actions towards me are taking hold again...and quite frankly at this point I seem to be losing myself. I am not happy anymore...and I find myself angry and things I never would before. I am a very compasionate person...although recently she is telling me otherwise...that I am self centered...vain...lazy..and that I think the world revolves around me....and I need to figure out what is wrong with me. How do you live with this....the constant beating of mental abuse? Does that ever go away...even if they find the right meds for her?

I have been reading some books and a lot of stuff on the internet but it doesn't seem to be helping me cope. I don't have a lot of time to do these things because it seems as though most of my time spent with her is doing things for her...not me.

But, I just wanted to let you know that I am in a very similar situation, and that it really sucks. But you need to separate yourself from the negativity. You should probably go to therapy yourself, especially if she telling you all these bad things about yourself. Just know you are NOT alone.