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hyunjee Posts: 88
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saw my tdoc yesterday and im going back to her on monday actually. my rage is about to go out of control. i lost it about three times over the weekend, to the point i was hitting things around the house. i am afraid i will lose it at work, it's getting harder for me to supress my rage and anger. i dont know what else to do. im going to talk to the civil rights guy at my job about taking disability leave. i almost think that it would best for me to do. until i can get things sorted out. cause i'm afraid i wont be able to control it.........it's getting too hard to control "there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why"
lamictal (generic brand) 100 mg
geodon 60 mg
klonopin 0.5 mg tid
seroquel 100 mg
soma 350mg - for pain
klor-con - diuretic
lisinopril - for high blood pressure
hydrochlorthiazide - water pill
omeprazole - anti-gerd
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oceanchild Posts: 236
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Hopefully you can go on disability, but it may be easier if you go inpatient (unfortunately, as insurance and disability rates severity of illness on the level of treatment being received), it may also be safer for yourself and possibly others. I am not trying to condescend, I am just familiar with that sort of rage because I've felt it...I've driven around at 90 mph screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping for something to destroy. It is terrifying and very dangerous. I hope you can get the time you need to get away from the stressors that are no doubt triggering you and making the anger worse. We are here for you! Tegretol 400mg
Topamax 25mg
Abilify 5mg
Lorazepam .5-2mg 38 a day
Lisinopril 5mg
Singulair 10mg
Xopenex inhaler
Pantoprazole 40mg
My bipolar blog:
http://fivestepsfromnormal.blogspot.com/
"There's more to life than books you know, but not much more." ~Morrissey |
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MissStacey Posts: 14847
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I am sorry you are feeling out of sorts. Iam sure you have alot of support but if you ever need anyone to vent to feel free to pm me, I am a good listener. I hope your day goes better for you  I suffer from Rapid Progressive MS, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Epilepsy, Migraines, Neuropathy, IBS, Narcolepsy, Arrythmia, Arthritis and too much more complete list on profile.
"Just because we have the right to disagree with a person, does NOT give us the right to disrespect that person."
I'm not currently active due to many personal and medical issues. I will not be participating in MDJ for awhile, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone. I hope everyone is well and I appreciate all of the thoughts, kind words and messages. I have tried to respond as much as possible and apologize if I have not gotten back to everyone. Love & Hugs, Stacey |
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mixma Posts: 549
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Awww Hyunjee *hugs* I don't know what to tell you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You know I'm always here for you. Tracey Please don't take my advice as a medical opinion. I'm just someone trying to live and learn with the same disorder you are :)
Some people are like slinkies - absolutely useless and you can't help but smile when you push them down the stairs
I also suffer from CDO - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but it's in alphabetical order the way it should be
I'm in my own little world. That's okay, though, they know me here
I would rather do evil than be evil.
One of the greatest pleasures in life is doing what others say you cannot
Depression is anger without the enthusiasm |
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hyunjee Posts: 88
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yea im not sure what actions I can take. if I can even take leave without pay for even just a week I think it will help a lot. I just need some time to sort shit out. I've been feeling out of mind lately. like im just full of so much hate and anger. I dont want to sleep, i dont want to eat. it's just consuming me and work is getting so difficult for me. "there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why"
lamictal (generic brand) 100 mg
geodon 60 mg
klonopin 0.5 mg tid
seroquel 100 mg
soma 350mg - for pain
klor-con - diuretic
lisinopril - for high blood pressure
hydrochlorthiazide - water pill
omeprazole - anti-gerd |
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SpazyJess Posts: 3456
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Hyunjee, I'm sorry you're going through all of that hon, that's gotta be rough. My advice to you would be to look into taking leave through the Family Medical Leave Act. You can take up to 12 weeks leave without pay as long as you meet the requirements. I think you have to have worked at least 1200 hours to qualify. Here's the website: http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/index.htm If you do go the leave of absence route you have to get a doctor's note to back you up and the doctor's note can be formulated in a way that does not reveal that your doctor happens to be a psychiatrist. I have done it once during my first/last hospital stay b/c I was suicidal and needed immediate medical attention. "The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority."
~Kenneth Blanchard
"Minds arelike parachutes. They only function when they are open."
~Sir James Dewar
"I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong."
~Leo Rosten
"Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
~Albert Einstein
"Fall down seven times, get up eight."
~Japanese Proverb
"Perfect does not exist in an imperfect world"
~Anonymous
**~~Jessy~~** |
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MissStacey Posts: 14847
VIP Member
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I think that is a wonderful idea Jess and I am sure your doctor will back you up with whatever you need Hyunjee. Its too bad its not paid leave that would be fantastic...but if you can afford to do so I would jump on that to get yourself feeling better without the everyday aggravations of working. Best of luck... I suffer from Rapid Progressive MS, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Epilepsy, Migraines, Neuropathy, IBS, Narcolepsy, Arrythmia, Arthritis and too much more complete list on profile.
"Just because we have the right to disagree with a person, does NOT give us the right to disrespect that person."
I'm not currently active due to many personal and medical issues. I will not be participating in MDJ for awhile, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone. I hope everyone is well and I appreciate all of the thoughts, kind words and messages. I have tried to respond as much as possible and apologize if I have not gotten back to everyone. Love & Hugs, Stacey |
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SpazyJess Posts: 3456
VIP Member
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I meant to add Hyunjee to keep us updated on how you're doing if you don't mind. I hope things get better for you. "The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority."
~Kenneth Blanchard
"Minds arelike parachutes. They only function when they are open."
~Sir James Dewar
"I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong."
~Leo Rosten
"Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
~Albert Einstein
"Fall down seven times, get up eight."
~Japanese Proverb
"Perfect does not exist in an imperfect world"
~Anonymous
**~~Jessy~~** |
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hyunjee Posts: 88
Member
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i go back to my tdoc on Monday. She thinks it would be good for me to see her again soon. so, it works out. Ive been doing ok. kind of down lately. but the seroquel isn't bothering me as much as far as the grogginess and such. I haven't self harmed in a week so that's good. been trying my best not to. cause the past few have been pretty bad. i'm getting there i hope. "there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why"
lamictal (generic brand) 100 mg
geodon 60 mg
klonopin 0.5 mg tid
seroquel 100 mg
soma 350mg - for pain
klor-con - diuretic
lisinopril - for high blood pressure
hydrochlorthiazide - water pill
omeprazole - anti-gerd |
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MissStacey Posts: 14847
VIP Member
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I am glad to hear you are seeing your doc again. It sounds like you are feeling a little better and that is awesome to hear , I have been a little down lately myslef I am going to try my hardest to keep my positive attitude going today to avoid the down feeling again!!! If you need me at all PM me...Hugs Stacey I suffer from Rapid Progressive MS, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Epilepsy, Migraines, Neuropathy, IBS, Narcolepsy, Arrythmia, Arthritis and too much more complete list on profile.
"Just because we have the right to disagree with a person, does NOT give us the right to disrespect that person."
I'm not currently active due to many personal and medical issues. I will not be participating in MDJ for awhile, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone. I hope everyone is well and I appreciate all of the thoughts, kind words and messages. I have tried to respond as much as possible and apologize if I have not gotten back to everyone. Love & Hugs, Stacey |
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