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02/13/2008 02:51 PM

Divorce

peepers
peepersPosts: 19
Member

My husband is Bp II. He told me 4 months ago that he wanted a divorce. He then moved out of the house and into an apartment. I began to see a therapist to help me through the devastation. She told me that since he is BP, I may not be getting a divorce after all. So I waited and kept thinking/hoping he would come back. He has not. He has said incredibly cruel things to me and refuses to go to counseling. He states that he has moved on and that he is resolute in the fact that he is not coming back. He says he has a bright future ahead of him and he can't wait to see what the future has in store for him. He's 47 years old. I can't help but think that his future is not going to be much different than his present!

Is this typical behavior for Bipolar IIs? Do they ever return to their spouses once they have announced they want a divorce? His brother, who is BP I, has explained to me that his reality now may very well not be his reality in 6 months (or whatever time frame). If it seems like I am holding on to anything for hope, I am. It is very difficult to let go of a 20 year relationship.

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02/13/2008 10:47 PM
amberose
amberose  
Posts: 93
Member

It may depend on how his feelings are now, and if he gets help and can stabilze out. Before I was dx, and I have BP II I left my husband on MANIC for a guy of my dreams, I left virginia to move to texas with him, that lasted 2 years, and sometimes I think to myself I bet to this day I would have been better off staying with my husband.

after 2 years, and at some point during I got my dx, then they started me on lithium which left me very depress, so of course all the fun I had with this new man was gone, I couldnt keep up being depressed and was confused on how I felt about him, I left him too, I am now off the lithum, and back with my man in texas but moved back home to washington. I am scared to move back becuase I dont think the rollercoaster I am on can keep up with himand his outgoing family, I look back and see my ex husband more laid back and think that would be a better life for someone like me with Bipoalr. more carefree, not dealing with stressful family get togethers all the time and out on the town. My man in texas's family is hard for me to keep up with unless I am manic, when I fall into depression they dont understand and try to force me to get up and enjoy the commrodery, I cant, and you shouldnt force or pressure someone with any kind of depression to do anything.

I guess you can see before the DX I didnt know what I was doing, it was good to find out and learn who I am. I hope things work out for you, It almost sounds like he has left very manic, if he doesnt get help when he gets depressed he will need help and support and I hope he will get help to stabilze his moods and that things can work out for the both of you.

I wish my texas man would leave his apron strings behind and come to washinton to relax Tongue


02/14/2008 09:22 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Peepers, while I hope and pray that your husband gets the help that he needs and things could work out for you, you do have to accept the fact that they might not and prepare yourself for the worst, even after a divorce should he get the help that he needs there is nothing that says you can't get back together and remarry if that is what seems in order for you, what needs to be addressed right now is taking care of you.
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