Bipolar Type II Support Group

This does not mean I think other people should not take their meds. I am under a pdoc's care, and he knows I have come off/ am coming off of them. Don't stop taking your meds unless you are under a pdoc's care while doing so, it can be dangerous.

Okay, here is my list of reasons for non-compliance:

The only thing I have complete authority over is my own body, thus I should be an informed and active participant in my own health/mental health care. While stable in particular, I have a say in my own medical treatment.

I have co-ocurring medical problems which I take meds for, it is very nearly impossible to find truly safe psych meds to combine with these meds or problems obesity, metabolic syndrome or "pre-diabetes", PCOS hypertension in particular, (there are more but I'll spare you).

These med cocktails that everyone is prescribing have not been tested for safety, that is scary to me. Each doctor and "patient" must decide if the (unknown) possible ill effects, or poss long term effects are worth the risk. To me they are not. I am not a physically healthy person as it is.

Side effects, this is probably some other people's reason for being "non-compliant" as well...which for me have included: hair loss, weight gain, suicidal ideation, exacerbation of hypertension/ "pre-diabetes," memory loss, double vision, kidney problems, increased anxiety, depersonalization, physical addiction (to lorazepam), lethargy, depression, feeling numb and detached with no emotions or thoughts to speak of.

Many people on medications continue to struggle with their moods even on the meds. Including me personally. I would rather struggle with my moods without the added anxiety of possibly dying from a medication interaction, or like my husband, have to face a life with a chronic, progressive, life-altering disease that he got for taking an arthtritis medication as his doctor prescribed.

To be continued...

And not taking meds is not necessarily always non-compliance. In my opinion, if you're doing so under the supervision of a p-doc; then that's not considered non-compliance b/c you're not making a reckless choice.

This is an example of non-compliance: the meds are not working so you decide to stop taking them w/o consulting with your p-doc.

And you're right that the cocktails have not been tested. At the same token, I don't think it could be even possible to test every possible combo with ANY type of medication.

I think you take a gamble whether it's a psychotrobic drug and/or a regular medication.

I mean I have other conditions too (physical ones).

I have had a really bad allergic reaction to one of the medications I've been on and I had to stop that medication shortly after I had just started it.

And I was pretty pissed b/c it was a pretty expensive one!

Here's another example that's not psychotrobic, it's a muscle relaxer I take @ night called Flexeril. This med can potentially cause depression, but I take it anyway b/c I'd rather not be in pain.

So I am probably being repetitive (I'm good at that sometimes LOL!), but ANY medication can potentially be a poop shoot, not just psychotrobic medications.

My point in all of this is Bipolar Disorder is treated in multiple ways that can sometimes not include medication as part of the plan. If this is the case, I agree that it is best that this is done under the care of your p-doc.

And of course there are pro's/con's to the ways the disorder is treated depending on personal experience in my opinion b/c we all have BP disorder, but we are all different in how we respond to treatment.

Lastly for me, I did have a p-doc that thought about testing the waters in taking me off medication to see how I'd do, but honestly I don't know if I could last that long w/o being on medication b/c I've had many relapses b/c I have the rapid cycling form of the disorder.

Before I serious about treatment, I was pretty out of control. I drank heavily and was a drug user (specifically pot and coke--classic ones for those who have BP disorder so I've read) as well.

I was basically self medicating my symptoms and I really don't want to go back to that. It was a horrible way of living life.

I'll admit that I do have moments every once in a blue moon where I'm tempted to have a few drinks, but the medication helps set me straight.

As for the drugs, I've gotten to the point where I get grossed out whenever I think about it.

Post edited by: Jessy, at: 03/14/2009 10:11

Post edited by: Jessy, at: 03/14/2009 11:01

I know that every medication has risks etc. There are some that are outright unsafe together, and I am not willing to take a gamble on it. If I were a healthy person I'd likely feel different about it. As I posted at the end of this my husband has a serious illness caused by his arthritis medication, which could potentially kill him. He has pain every single day due to a medication.

Although I have (likely ultradian)rapid cycling I have handled it without meds for most of my life. I used to use marijuana to self-medicate, which made me cycle even faster. I have quit, am stabilized, and have no intentions of further exacerbating my disorder by using drugs.

I was literally "non-compliant" with 2 meds (Ambien and Lamictal), but I told my pdoc. He has encouraged me to try melatonin and fish oil instead.

I actually hate the term "non-compliant" which is why I often put it in quotes. It seems to presume that you ultimately should not decide what you put into your own body. You should by complacent...I have had docs prescribe things which could have deadly reactions together three times, and either my pharmacist or I have caught it. Doctors are not infallible, and it is ok to second guess them IMHO.

I'm also an ultradian rapid cycler. How have you been able to control your rapid cycling over the years? Each of us is different, but I can't seem to do this without meds. In fact, it wasn't until my pdoc recently added Clonazepam to my med cocktail that I've been able to enjoy some stability.

As far as being med-compliant is concerned, there was one time during a manic episode that I refused to take meds because I felt really, really good. It wasn't long until my auditory hallucinations, delusions and paranoia came back with a vengeance that I was convinced about how much I needed my meds. Since I didn't want a repeat performance, I've been taking my meds on a daily basis ever since.

Having said that, I appreciate the fact that each of us is different in the way we choose to address our bipolar.

Post edited by: neondreams, at: 03/14/2009 11:03

One of the ways I try to deal with my rapid mood changes is to roll with them. Sometimes I can "talk myself down" so to speak. Other times I am silly and goofy, angry and irritable, and then depressed and in tears, all within an hour, with no ability to stop myself. Keep in mind that I have had periods of remission throughout my life, one that lasted a year and a half. So it is not constant rapid cycling. That would truly be impossible for me to get through without some kind of help.

My moods and cycling worsen with hormonal fluctuations throughout the month as well. I also have PCOS, a hormonal imbalance. I know when these fluctuations occur, which helps us prepare, and this is usually a time when suicidal ideation creeps in. I am very open about these thoughts to others, and they intervene if I need hospitalization. Which I have needed 4 times thus far. Twice where no meds were administered to me.

My husband and I have both adapted to my extreme moodiness. His support has allowed me to not feel ashamed with being completely unpredictable. He loves me the way I am no matter what.

He experienced a psychotic break himself and was diagnosed schizophreniform 15 years ago and had a complete remission. He takes no psychiatric meds. He is the most functional person I know, despite even having chronic pancreatitis. 25% of those diagnosed with schizophrenia/ schizophreniform have complete recoveries (and science does not know why). He inspires me and loves my "fire and passion."

One of the ways I am going to attempt to deal with my mood changes on my own is practicing self-care: healthy diet, exercise, meditation, DBT, stress management, supplements etc.

Am I naive enough to think I can chant my way out of being Bipolar? No. Do I think I can "cure" myself? I hope so, but I wouldn't be willing to bet on it. Do I think I can minimize symptoms and live without meds (perhaps even just until I am physically well enough to try them if I feel I need them), absolutely.

I couldn't possibly know a man as extraordinary as my husband without believing that miracles do happen.

As for your husband, I'm sorry that he has to live that way.

One of my uncles has arthritis and he doesn't take medication anymore b/c it made his situation much worse so he decided to live with it medication free. I don't know how he does it. I guess he has learned to cope with it.

One thing he does do which I don't know how he does this exactly and how frequent he does this is an alternative therapy for his condition (he uses bees to sting himself). He apparently has a beehive near his house and his arthritis is the kind that is all over.

So I do agree that some medications are not worth taking a gamble on.

Like my uncle. He decided that arthritis medications are not for him b/c they made his condition worse.

As for my own personal choice in taking psychotrobic medications, what keeps me coming back is the chance to get better mentally all around to the point where I'm less symptomatic if at all.

And if I ever get to the point where the medication options is exhausted, I may find myself looking into alternative therapies, you never know...

I say as long as it's a healthy decision, go for it! And I hope you'll continue to participate and let us know how you are doing.

"As far as being med-compliant is concerned, there was one time during a manic episode that I refused to take meds because I felt really, really good."

According to my family members who are medical professionals this is the number one reason for BPers to become non compliant with their meds. There are others of course as noted in the previous posts but that's by far the number one reason.

oceanchild,

I'm going to try to deal with BP in much the same way as you although I need to take Clonazepam for another reason. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone in your thinking or approach. Too many unacceptable side effects with all the other meds I tried.

bdr

Post edited by: bigdogsrule, at: 03/14/2009 11:55

Post edited by: Jessy, at: 03/14/2009 11:57

That's what my pdoc told me as well. When I saw him during our first appointment together, he asked me if I had ever stopped taking my meds. When I described that incident to him, he told me he understood and said that many people with BP do the same thing for the same reason.