Bipolar Type II Support Group

Okay, anyone else have total feelings of absolute epic failure? In general, about life, and your place in it? I know this is a result of being off of my meds- however the seroquel was like a sledgehammer, and since my parents were coming in from halfway across the country for our long weekend holiday last week, I went off it so i could be 'persent' when they were here. and everything was fantastic. then they left, I went back to work, and the stress, irrational and inadequate thoughts came tumbling back. The 50 mg of Seroquel seemed ot do the trick, but then the next pills i had were 150 mg- cant do it. (I have samples only until I get Blue X, so stuck wit hwhat have on hand from MD)

OMG, I am having one of those out of body experiences when i know the irrational thoughts and feelings i am having are not real, and totally bogus, however can't stop them from popping into my head. what the HE..?

oh yes...

feel that 'epic fail' much of the time, even on meds. it sucks rocks when your own mind turns against you and all that cleverness gets used to such ill effect...

Thanks Dugg- it is nice to be understood

Sometimes it feels like everything is against you and you can't do anything right. That is how I can feel anyway. I get these thoughts sometimes with medications. You have to remind yourself though that everyone goes through this, we just feel this way times ten because of our illness. You are not a failure at all. You have bipolar disorder. I don't know what will happen since you aren't taking your medications, but it could get bad. You don't want that to happen. Call your psychiatrist and see what he says. He should help you with this. I do hope that you can feel better soon. We are all here for you.

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time, but I can definitely relate. 90% of the time I feel like a total failure, and nothing I do seems to help me get past those feelings.

I know I'm not in a good place right now, so I probably shouldn't even be posting, but for what it's worth, you're not alone.

Post edited by: t4mommy, at: 07/06/2012 01:25 AM

"Epic Fail" is a perfect simple way to describe how I feel most of the time. Like the above people have said, even on medications I feel like this. If I sit and think too long (like more than five minutes)about my life and me in general, I feel very disappointed in myself. Leads me to wonder why? I mean, who set the standards that I am measuring myself against? Does it come from my parents? My husband? Society and/or the "professionals" in the world? Genuinely from me? Well, it doesn't really matter where it comes from I suppose. Just have to learn how to be OK with where I am now, and if I do not like where I am, I need to get off the couch and do something about it because no one can do it for me. Maybe I will be more likely to succeed with the help of meds and therapy and stuff, but because I need that support does not make me a complete Epic Fail.

MaritimeGal, I hope you and your psychiatrist are able to come up with a combo of meds that will work for you. It can take a while and the trial-and-error part isn't easy but it's worth it in the end. Once that right combination has been determined, please do yourself a favor and take the meds as prescribed. Going off your meds is never a good idea in the long run. I know this from my own experience...

I'm nearly in tears reading these posts. The phrase "epic fail" describes me to a T. I feel so useless. As if it isn't already difficult enough living with BP2, I've lost one of the most important relationships of my life. He got fed up with my mood swings and obsessiveness and he disappeared. Literally disappeared, I haven't seen or heard from him since June 21st. He had threatened to do it...and he finally did. I am so lost. Been in a frantic mixed state for over a week, my body is vibrating so hard I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin. Not really physically vibrating but you probably know what I mean. I've been taking Ativan, Lamictal and Lithium for about 6 months. My pdoc has adjusted the dosages several times, looks like we need to do it again.

I learned the self adjusting meds lesson the hard way too. Get into your doc or the ER even if necessary. It's hard on anyone to start and stop these meds. Stay on touch.

Oh, many folks share the failure feelings. Sorry you are having these feelings too, that sucks. I don't know you, but assure you, you are not an epic failure.