Bipolar Type II Support Group

TMI: but I have had extreme pain from sex and that has been going on for about a year. I made an appt with a gyno, but I'm afraid they're not going to be able to help me. I have been with the same partner for 5 years so I doubt it's an STD. I thought maybe it was one of the meds I was taking or maybe PID. It even hurts if I touch myself. Anyhow that call made me freak out too.

Another story:

I was working under the table for my mom's business while I was collecting unemployment. That was fine till I really upset my mom and she laid me off. My unemployment is barely enough for me to eek by. On top of the my sister moved back from Washington. She automatically was given a full time position when I was only offered meager hours. Then my sister said that she would pay me to baby sit her 1 1/2 yr old. I'm not a kid person, but money is money. Then my sister said that she and mother are trying to get a place in a different city. That would mean that I could never work for my mom again and wouldn't be able to babysit. On top of that I don't know how much unemployment I will have. I have been applying for jobs, but it's slow going.

A late night conversation with my sister got me very upset. I let her know that I was little bit upset with my predicament and she said maybe I should start applying at places with McDonalds. She said I could make it on minimum wage. Nice that she took my job and now is telling me to work at McD's.

I feel royally shafted and it's not fair. I took a bit of Zyprexa to calm me down, can't wait till that works. But Zyprexa gives me something called Oculogyric crisis.

Oculogyric crisis: An extreme and sustained (usually) upward deviation of the eyes

It makes it impossible to look down. It doesn't happen every time I take it, but there's still a chance.

I guess that's about all. I just wanted to get my feelings out there.

My mom had an important project of doing some of the accounting for the company and I had a bout of awful mental health and bailed on her and she had to do the work too along with her other responsibilities. She didn't say she was upset. I could just tell. It was the next day that she said that she wouldn't have work for me. Then immediately asked my sister to work for her instead. They made it seem like my sister had more skills with web design that I do. Which would make sense except my sister has since described her job duties and it's stuff I could have easily done.

Just Sucks.

I'm dealing with it pretty well. I only had one break down of crying. And then I told myself that I can only do what I can do and that's all - if that makes sense. As long as I'm doing my best that's all there is to do. It's not going to do anyone any good for me to freak out.