Bipolar Type II Support Group

Greetings all my BP2 Friends! I have a question that I hope you all can help me with.

About 8 months ago I found out some horrifying info about my dear sweet husband's past. Something I could have gone to my grave with out EVER knowing. What I found out is something so out of character for him and that's why I was/am shocked by the information. When we met, he wanted to know everything about my past - the good - the bad - and the ugly. So I laid it all out for him. Well he painted a beautiful picture of himself which did NOT include this horrid information that includes himself, a brother and a sister-in-law. (that's all I am going to say about the story).

Here is where I need help from you fellow BP2'ers. During my depressive states, this information becomes a obsessive thought. I picture things that were done - said - and feelings that were shared between the 3 of them. I don't want to think about it, but it's there 24/7. It gets so bad that I end up crying at work, at home, at school events for my children, at church, etc.

How do I get past this?

Is there a medication that works on obsessive thoughts?

Has anyone experience this same type of thought pattern?

Thank you so much to each and everyone of you who respond and thank you to even the ones who just read this.

MyOwnCross

I have had obsessive thoughts over past relationships...things that were said and done...and I just think it will take time. Since it's been 8 months ago & you're still having the thoughts, maybe you could find a therapist/counselor/pastor to talk to about it. It obviously broke some trust you had in him and probably even deeper issues. For me personally, that's what I would do.

As far as medication, I knew a guy who thought that Geodon helped with obsessive thinking. That's probably something you'd have to do trial and error with to see what helps you though.

I hope you can find some peace through this situation and get some help processing it. It obviously devastated you.

I have found that only forgiveness will get you past those obsessive thoughts. Forgiveness is for you not the other person, so honestly they never have to know you have forgiven them. Lack of information is a betrayal of trust and that is what you will have to forgive, the lack of trust. When you are able to forget, you will be able to move past the thoughts.

I grew up being sexually molested and even though i have "forgiven", there are still nights i am plagued by things....i disrupt myself from these thoughts, either by physically doing something if possible or by reading or reciting a to do list or singing a song in my head.

Forgiveness and the thoughts will lessen and then when they do come....distraction!!

Remember this....those who anger you, control you

And while this may not be about "anger" per se, someone who betrays you and hurts you, excite the same regions as those who anger you. Dont let his past rule your present.

Well, I have to agree with zookpr. Hard to do though. I had trouble with obsessive thoughts for awhile when I was quite depressed. Even suicidal. Mine were more about financial situation, husband not working, etc. I googled obsessive thinking and it did come up. I am trying to come up with some words of wisdom but don't know what to say. Sounds like the trust you had for your husband and the confidence in that was blown out of the water. I am so sorry. Have you said anything to him?

Hi, it is so hard when you find things out about someone you love. Things that disgust you, make you feel betrayed. I was married to a man for 20 years, who I loved completely, who was completely controlling and physically abusive. I had 2 girls to him and thought I had to stay. I was so dependant on him I didn't think I would survive without him. He was unfaithful 13 times that I know of. He did it not caring if I or anyone else knew. It became so bad that each time I met a new female I would look at them and decided wether she would be the next or not! I got so bad I tried to commit suicide many times...... I found a very good doctor (councillor ) who over many months made me face my life for what it was.... It was very hard and I would leave his rooms feeling completely drained. Do you know what he did? He would sit there and wait for me to talk!!! He would ask a question. Eg. What has happened this past week and what do you think about it? Then it got to the stage where I would sit down and he would wait for me to say something..... He would get me so angry because as far as I was concerned HE was supposed to fix ME!!! But you know I started to face things. Because I would go away and look at myself , my husband, my life and the life my girls were having to live. It took me a year or so but I got to the stage where I knew that I was strong enough to ask for a trial separation. Then once I was out of his control, with a lot of help from family and friends I was able to ignore all of his crocodile tears and threats of suicide. .... I was starving myself to death because he told me I was too fat and that is why he had to go else where.... All these things make you become OCD , you become to feel worthless.... What I am trying to say in a very round about way is that the only way to cope is the find someone who can help you to work out what you need to do, if you can't forgive him, move on. We only have one life. This is not a trial run. When it's gone it's gone. I wish you well for the future! Living a life that brings you nothing but emptiness, sadness and anxiety , is not what we need! We need to be able to smile...... And mean it!!!!!

That's a big blow for you to hear when you get told some ugly news. Obsessive thoughts are awful. I'm unsure if an anti-psychotic would work or not for that, but it did take away my racing thoughts. I would really tell this to your psychiatrist and see what he suggests about this. I'm very sorry you had to learn about this. I'm sure time would help, but I would get a therapist if you don't have one already. That would help a lot. I hope you can get through this hump. I know you will because you are strong. Keep us updated to how you are feeling. We are here to support you.

I am doing rather well at the moment. (mania rules)

The SIL lives out of state, but wouldn't you know it - she happen to be in town this past weekend and we ran into her. If I had been in my Depressive State, I don't think I would have survived it. However, since I am in pure mania right now, the "thoughts" go away as fast as they come.

I wonder how long my mania will last?

I hate being depressed and obsessing over stupid stuff.

My next pdoc appt is June 25th.

I frequently have obsessive thoughts when I'm elevated (at any level). I know you said you are depressed, but is there a possibility you are in a mixed state? I think mixed states are very common for people with bipolar disorder after having some type of extreme stress/shock. You don't have to be running around like like wild woman to be in a mixed state.

Thanks for the input - what is a mixed state?

mixed state is when the mania and depression happen at the same time. i get those a lot. nothing worse than being in a high but with depressive thoughts.