No Goodbyes Left
Written for j.c.
By e.m.
November 5, 2009
There are no goodbyes left between you and me.
There will always be memories for us to keep.
The times in the mountain,
the fish and chips at the beach.
Or "please kill that bug."
Or else I won't be able to sleep!
In life there is the pain of loss.
We never truly recover.
My Father will never sit with me
at the kitchen table again.
Complaining how his favorite mug is always dirty.
But I see that mug nowadays,
and it puts a smile on my face.
Even when he's no longer here.
When I wake up in the mornings
I can almost feel your touch.
I dream that you are next to me,
breathing heavily from your night's sleep.
But I open my eyes,
and it's only a memory.
And that I get to keep!
There are no goodbyes left between you and me.
At the end of the day,
You'll always have a part of me.
Just open your jewelry box,
and listen to that tune.
I'll always remember you
and the way you looked on MANY nights.
That memory, you will NEVER get out
of my sight!
Tears flow easily from my spirit
to my face,
knowing that now and forever
until death due us part....
You will always have a piece of my heart.
Lovers come and go I hear.
Friends are always there.
I must not be a friend
because I don't want to be near you
awake in this terrible nightmare.
You'd have to force me back to sleep.
Because in my dreams you are mine,
and always HERE to KEEP.
There are days I feel better.
I wake up feeling a little bit stronger.
I think of you a little less longer.
Others days, I feel a little bit weaker.
I pick up my phone
and remind myself not to seek you.
I notice a song plays on the radio.
That song you liked,but I hated so much.
It brings a smile to my face.
Even when you're gone.
You would have liked...
what I made last night.
You would have laughed at the lousy movie
that I saw.
You would have. You could have. You should have.
But you didn't.
But clean up those tears.
We have memories,
of FIVE WHOLE YEARS.
Nothing will take that from you.
They are yours to keep.
Even when you're old,
and your memory starts to fail,
I'm sure you'll never forget
that you loved someone
and it wasn't a male. (wink)
I hope someday
when you meet somebody new.
He'll love you and adore you
as much as I did.
Because anything less than that,
is not worth one bit!
I know I'm not perfect.
I know I could have done better
in so many ways,
but it was always you that I loved
at the end of the day.
There are no goodbyes left
between you and me.
I know we said goodbye many times before,
but this is the last one.
It's time that I close this door.
When the pain of loving someone
becomes larger than the rewards,
it's time that I move on from all of this,
but remember it's you that I will greatly miss.
Some day you'll find that person
that will make you feel alive.
You'll want them. You'll desire them.
You'll want to marry them.
That person was obviously not me.
But you didn't want to set me free.
I had become a prisoner of love.
To go or not to go.
A slave to your wishes.
But I cannot stay and witness the deterioration
of my soul, because loving you is a pain I can no longer
afford.
There are no goodbyes left for you and me.
Please, No new memories! I've had enough!
and any more memories just might tear me apart.
I'm in pain like never before.
Sorrow and despair.
I fall into thinking that this just isn't fair.
I guess things were just not meant to be.
But remember our memories,
will ALWAYS be ours to keep
